IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: The phrase "safe, sane, and consensual" is often used within the BDSM community, and anyone reading this article understands and agrees that (1) he has the responsibility to play safely; (2) the players must be of sound mind; and (3) the players must be consenting adults. The reader further agrees and understands that this article is a discussion of spanking techniques as they are currently used and does not constitute a recommendation that he should attempt them himself, nor is it intended as an instruction manual. The reader assumes any and all liability and responsibility should he choose to attempt anything described herein. If the reader does not agree, it is his responsibility to exit this page now without reading any further.

 

            This article is about how to give a good paddling, strapping, or caning.  By “good”, I don’t mean severe or in any way excessive, just effective and satisfying for both parties.  Although there are of course differences between these three implements, there are so many similarities in the actual mechanics of applying them that it makes sense to consider them together in one article.  Separate articles will deal with the questions of selecting a suitable implement from the many types and models available.

            The person giving the spanking will be referred to as the Top; the person receiving is the Sub (the term “bottom” is often used but is too ambiguous in this context to be employed here).  In the discussion of position, the Top is assumed to be right-handed.  Left-handed tops should reverse all mentions of “left” and “right”.

 

Position

 

There are many spanking positions that can be utilized, although some will generally be preferred over others for reasons of practicality or to fulfill a particular fantasy.  Position is important both physically (mechanical aspects of applying the implement) and psychologically (because it can subtly but very effectively emphasize the all-important aspects of Dominance and Submission that play such a large part in consensual discipline.) 

Physically, every workable position serves to give the Top convenient access to the Sub’s bottom by (1) putting the Sub within easy reach, and (2) bending the Sub over at the waist, causing her bottom to protrude and making it a better target.  At the same time, bending over prevents the Sub from “clenching”.  This is sometimes thought to be disadvantageous to the Sub, on the theory that clenching will lessen the sting, but in fact it is actually bad for the sub to clench, since it is better for her bottom to be relaxed and cushion the effect of the implement when it is applied.  Think of the difference between striking a hard surface and a soft one.  The angle of the bend, measured between the upper and lower portions of the body, may vary considerably, but will probably not be far from 90 degrees (note:  180 degrees would be straight with no bend, 90 degrees would be bending halfway over, and 10 degrees or so would be bending over as far as possible).  Psychologically, making the Sub present her bottom this way is valuable because it forces greater awareness of her natural female submissiveness.  It is also a good way to teach humility (especially important with the “brat” type), since being made to stick her bottom up and out will be a humbling experience for her. 

 

 

1.      OTK (Over The Knee) – the all-time favorite for hand spanking, this position also works with implements if they are fairly short.  Longer implements applied OTK will invariably cause misalignment of azimuth (more below on alignment), with the misalignment becoming worse the more forwards the Sub is positioned on the spanker’s lap.  Suitable implements are the traditional hairbrush, paddles no longer than a hairbrush (for example the Irish leather paddle available through Shadow Lane), etc.  See articles on OTK spanking for more on this position.

2.      On hands and knees – this highly practical position is infrequently employed, probably because it is not traditionally used at home or school.  An exception is the spanking machine, employed in some children’s games, in which the person crawls on all fours in between the legs of the spankers, in what is basically a continuously moving version of this position.  As the name suggests, the sub must get down on her hands and knees (forearms rather than hands may be used to take some strain off the wrists).  A bed or couch works well; if a hard surface is used, some kind of padding should be placed under the knees (never kneel on a hard surface, for spanking or any other reason as it is very hard on the knees, over time causing permanent injury).  Because the shoulders are forced upward, this position has the advantage of naturally tending to arch the back (more on the importance of this below), and this arching can be accentuated by instructing the sub to lift her head up.  Also, because the biceps femoris (back of thigh) is contracted, the bottom is slightly shortened and compressed, causing it to bulge outward.  Its only real disadvantage is that the sub may end up too high above the floor for the comfort of the spanker, since he may have to swing the implement about shoulder-high rather than waist-high.  A couch might be a better choice than some beds for this reason. 

3.      Lying on a Bed – a very simple position in which the sub merely lies flat on the bed, optionally placing a pillow under the hips to lift them up a little.  This position finds favor mainly with those who were subjected to it as children.  The strap is probably the most commonly used implement in this position, followed by the paddle and the cane.  The bed provides good support for the sub, and the bottom is relaxed.  The one potential problem is the vertical distance between the spanker and the sub, which can easily lead to alignment problems, especially with the paddle.  This problem is discussed in more detail below. 

4.      Bending Over – the single most important position, or really, group of closely related positions.  The reasons for this preeminence are first, that it is traditionally employed in such varied institutions as home, school, and fraternal organizations, and second that it is a very practical position, both presenting the sub’s bottom at a convenient height and preventing her from “clenching”.  In all these positions, the sub’s toes should be aligned (i.e. one foot should not be further forward than the other) with the feet positioned anywhere from close together to slightly more than shoulder width apart.  The wider apart the feet are positioned, the less the amount of bending required to prevent clenching.  Important note:  in all these positions, the knees must be kept straight!!  I see the knees being bent sometimes in spanking videos and it never fails to annoy me.  Not only does it give a very bad line to the body, it angles the hips downward, forcing tilt misalignment and therefore sloppy paddling.  Now for the variations:

a)      Touching Toes (or grabbing ankles) – the sub must bend over from the waist keeping the knees straight and touch her toes.  Used for many years by U.S. and British schoolteachers. (See Illustration 1.20.)  

Advantages:  the derriere is stuck out as far as possible, to the delight of the spanker and the humiliation of the sub.

Disadvantages: gluteal muscles are stretched tightly, so lighter strokes only should be used; very tiring, so cannot be used for long sessions, although it can be used for penalty swats (see below for more about this).

b)      Hands On Knees – same as a) but with the hands placed on or slightly below the knees.  Sometimes used in the child’s game of “Spud” in lieu of the spanking machine (the ball is thrown at the person’s fanny instead of sending her through the spanking machine)

Advantages:  easier to hold than touching toes; head and shoulders are forced upwards, producing a good back arch.

Disadvantages:   less traditional than other positions; no real support for upper body.

c)      Over a Desk or Table – same as above, but the upper body is positioned flat on a table. 

Advantages:  the table provides valuable support, comfortably permitting a nice, long session; the bending angle (at the waist) is close to 90 degrees, which may be the best compromise between protrusion and stretch.

Disadvantages:  requires a surface free of tableware or other junk; must have sufficient access around the table for both the sub and the spanker.

d)      Over the back of a chair or couch – same as above, but the hands are placed on the seat of the chair or the couch (from the back).

Advantages:  the seat provides support for the upper body.

Disadvantages:  back (of chair or couch) may be too high, causing the back (of the sub) to be rounded rather than arched; in most cases couch has to be moved away from the wall to permit access.

e)      Over a spanking horse – (see illustration 1.1) similar to above, but the sub is placed over a specially designed piece of furniture.

Advantages:  the horse provides support for the entire body, in contrast to the other bent-over positions; the hands and/or feet may be fastened to the horse’s legs, introducing a new element of bondage, restraining impulsive subs who want to take a real punishment but have trouble holding still for it; emphasizes the disciplinary aspect of the session.

Disadvantages:  expensive if purchased, requires a fair degree of carpentry skill to build your own (but see Cody’s simple plans here ); difficult for Sub to arch her back; clashes with other furnishings (if you own a Louis XIV chair, forget it); presence of spanking horse in your living room hard to explain to in-laws and casual visitors.

f)        Hands on a chair or ottoman – similar to d), but the hands are placed on the seat of the chair (or the ottoman if you want to make her bend over farther!) from front instead of the back.  See illustration 1.2.

Advantages:  Provides support for the upper body; traditional for caning but equally good for other implements; permits good back arch; probably most useful position over all.

Disadvantages:  none, except that as in all bent-over positions without a spanking horse, the weight is largely borne by the legs, preventing the bottom from relaxing completely.

 

5.      Lying on back with feet in the air (the infamous “diaper” position) – I hesitate to even mention this one, but have done so in the interest of completeness.  The Top places his left arm behind the Sub’s knees and pushes her legs up and backwards.  This position has virtually nothing in its favor.  It is very tiring for both the Top and the Sub; it is unappealing visually and makes misalignment all but certain because of its sheer awkwardness.

 

Illustration 1.1 The Spanking Horse. Makes you want to reach for your cane, doesn't it? From Moonglow, a British producer of spanking videos.

Illustration 1.20. Touch your toes, Paula! The artist Paula Meadows demonstrates the undeniable merits of this position while she awaits the paddle. Rest assured this was no mere posing: the paddle shown was indeed applied while Paula held her position, although as she said later, "this was by no means easy once the paddle started to land." This is such a great picture we have also posted it in our Gallery section.

 

We have mentioned the importance of having the Sub arch her back, which turns her bottom up and out, maximizing her submission and giving the Top the best possible target. Illustrations 1.11, 1.12, and 1.13 should help to make this clearer. One traditional method of getting a Sub to arch her back after she has been placed in one of the bent-over postions is to instruct her to "look straight ahead" or "look up" (i.e., at a spot high on the wall in front of her). This action pulls the head and shoulders upward, which gives the desired back arch. It is very tiring to hold the head in that position, however, so be sure to allow the sub to lower her head to a more comfortable position in between swats.

1.11 Rounded Back (incorrect)	1.12 Arched Back (correct)	1.13 Arched Back. Note raised head and shoulders. The advantages should be obvious. (photo origin unknown)

 

 

So far we have been discussing the position of the Sub, but the Spanker’s position is equally important.  This brings us to the subject of alignment, which refers to the position of the Spanker’s body, arm, wrist, and implement relative to the Sub’s derriere.  The idea is to deliver nice, evenly-distributed strokes precisely on target.  Most of the time, the implement should be guided to the lower central portion of the buttocks; occasionally certain types may be applied to the backs of the thighs, but many subs find this unpleasant, and as a general rule it is best avoided.  We must be careful not to apply the implement too high or to low, or off to the side, or allow it to wrap around the side of the hip (this problem of wrapping can only occur when the implement is flexible, e.g. the strap or the cane).  Illustrations 2.10 – 2.18 Illustrate the alignment problems that may be encountered.   

2.10 Too High	2.11 Too Low	2.12 Too Far Left	2.13 Too Far Right

 

Horizontal or vertical misalignment are easy problems to understand and correct.  The implement is applied too high, or too low, or too far to the left or right.

 

Too high:  this is bad because of the vulnerability of the tailbone to injury, and must always be carefully avoided.

Too low:  this is less serious than too high, because the thighs are much less vulnerable than the tailbone.  Nonetheless, most subs don’t like having the strap applied here (the paddle is out of the question), and really it should be avoided.

Too far left:  with the paddle or strap this results in an uneven application, punishing the left side while sparing the right.  With the cane, this is more serious, since the tip of the cane will then strike the sub, risking a cutting effect.  The tip of the cane must never be allowed to strike the sub!

Too far right:  A little too far to the right with the cane or strap will probably make no difference, but more than a little can lead to wrapping around the right hip.  With the paddle, wrapping is never a problem since this implement’s rigidity prevents its application in anything other than a straight line.  However, there is still the problem of unequal application.

Non-Level:  This is a special case of vertical misalignment where the implement is angled with one end higher than the other (usually down and to the right, with a right-handed Top).

2.14 Non-Level	2.15 Correct Positioning

 

Tilt misalignment occurs when an implement other than the cane is rotated in such a way that its flat side is no longer truly vertical (of course, no matter how the cane is rotated the shape of its striking surface remains the same).  The Top should hold the implement absolutely vertical, and be sure not to rotate the wrist as the stroke is applied.  Remember, you’re giving a spanking, not throwing a slider!

 

Azimuth misalignment is difficult to describe in words, but easy to understand with some simple illustrations (given the author’s poor drawing ability primitive is a better word).  It is caused by the Top’s hand, wrist, and arm not being in a straight line exactly parallel with a line drawn through both hips of the Sub at the moment of impact, resulting in one side of the bottom absorbing too much punishment and the other too little.  This problem in turn springs from the incorrect positioning of the Top’s feet, strange as that may sound at first.  The classic example of this is the school-type paddling, where the Top stands too far backwards, and the unfortunate Sub gets a “bullseye” shaped bruise on the right side of her bottom.  This common fault is easily corrected by the Top moving his left foot in front of (that is, forward) of the Sub’s feet.  In general, the longer the implement, the further forward should the Top’s left foot be placed. 

 

2.16 Correct Azimuth (Bird's-Eye View)	2.17 Incorrect Azimuth (feet too far backward)	2.18 Incorrect Azimuth (feet too far forward)

 

Correct Foot Position	Feet too far backward	Feet too far forward

 

Bare That Bottom

 

The Sub’s bottom should be bared.  The Top may order her to do this or may elect to do it himself.  Although I may have the Sub remove her jeans or skirt, I prefer to lower her panties myself.  Even though baring the bottom is only traditional in the home, it should be done during a session for two reasons:  (1) Safety - the Top needs to see the effect of the correction being given so that it does not inadvertently become too severe.  The Sub may “zone out” to such an extent that she isn’t fully aware of the pain any more, so her reaction to the strokes, though important, are not enough of a guide by themselves.  (2) Submission – baring her bottom will further increase her awareness of her own vulnerability and submission, which is psychologically of the greatest importance.  A woman is usually acutely embarrassed by having her bottom bared, which is what makes it so effective.  To heighten her embarrassment further, the Top can force her awareness of his taking aim for the target, either by some preliminary tapping with the implement, or by telling her directly that he’s taking careful aim, or both.  Done correctly, this will make the Sub feel embarrassed and thrilled at the same time.

 

Application

 

All right, now that you’ve got the Sub in position, it’s time to apply your chosen implement of correction.  Control is the object here – the implement must be applied on target and with the correct degree of intensity (to be experienced as sting by the Sub).  Aim carefully, then bring the implement backward and immediately forward again.  As indicated above, I like to give some preliminary light taps, leaving the implement in contact with the bottom for a few seconds after the last tap and just before commencing the actual stroke.  This builds anticipation and emphasizes one of the humbling aspects of the punishment (that it is to be applied to a very personal portion of the anatomy).  If the session is to be primarily sensual and the paddle or cane is being used, the sensuality can be further heightened by gently moving the implement back and forth, in an almost caressing manner.  Exactly where to apply the stroke depends on the implement used.

            Paddle or strap:  these are large enough that I feel each stroke should be applied to the lower central portion of the buttocks (a narrow strap, a small paddle, the hairbrush or the wood spoon can be moved around more).  If used in this manner, the paddle will produce two round areas of blushing pink, which should look nearly identical.  The strap will produce distinct stripes of its own width unless it is very wide (strive for evenness and avoid wrapping).  

I once saw a video in which a fairly well-known actor was using a large oval-shaped leather paddle (a good implement, by the way).  He applied it high, then low, then repeatedly way over on the side of the hip, to the Sub’s evident distress.  Finally he gave her one swat dead center on the fanny where it belonged.  Unless you are trying to make it a bad experience for the Sub, this isn’t the way to go.

Cane:  By tradition and because we don’t want to injure the skin, the strokes should not be applied to the exact same spot over and over.  Our goal should be a nice, even series of stripes ranging from the upper portion of the buttocks to the lower – not too high and not on the dividing line between the buttocks and the thighs.   You can go from upper to lower, or vice-versa, or if you want to get fancy, alternate between upper and lower, ending in the center.  As noted above, the tip of the can must not be allowed to strike the Sub.  Position the cane so that the tip extends about 1 - 2” past the right buttock.  With a thin cane, if the tip is extended too far, the cane may wrap around the right hip.  A thicker cane is less flexible, so the tip may be extended a little further if desired, but there is no particular advantage in doing so.   

 

Intensity can be controlled in three ways:  changing the amount of force used, altering the length of the stroke, and changing the thickness (hence the weight) of the implement used.  I have found the most precise control of intensity can be obtained by keeping the amount of force (muscular exertion) constant, and varying the length of the stroke.  Short strokes produce less sting; longer strokes will give more sting.  The length of the stroke is usually determined by how far back the implement is drawn prior to the stroke, although the length of the implement itself is an important factor.  In the case of the traditional crook-handled cane, it can also be lessened by “choking up” (holding it further up from the handle), which is the same thing as using a shorter cane.  A more thorough discussion of implements will be made in a separate article, but here are some quick guidelines regarding intensity:

 

Paddle:  ¼” wood is light, 3/8’’ wood is moderate, ½” wood is heavy (for lexan the figures for moderate and heavy would be ¼” and 3/8” respectively; for leather paddles and straps no guidelines will be given here because there are too many variables in the construction of these implements).  Actual fraternity or school paddles are generally ½”.

Rattan Cane:  ¼’’ is light, 5/16” is moderate, 3/8” is heavy.  Other thicknesses are available.  I don’t have the figures for the thickness of the canes formerly used in British schools, but as an example of a cane that is definitely too heavy, judicial canings use a ½” thick, 48” long cane.  This should be regarded as an implement of torture, having no place in the world of safe, sane, and consensual spanking.    

 

We are not saying that heavy implements can’t be used, only that they should be used with care and respect.  We have used ½” thick paddles many times with excellent results, but we never apply them full force.  How much sting to give depends on the purposes of the Top and the Sub:  mild stinging is generally more pleasant and sensual, while a more intense stinging is more disciplinary.  Of course this varies with each individual, and each couple must experiment to find what works for them.  I like to start out lightly and gradually increase the intensity until I reach a point where the Sub makes a little pained exclamation (“Ouch!”, “Ow!”, etc.), which usually indicates she’s feeling the right amount of sting.  Note that I said “a little pained exclamation”, not “a scream of agony”!  Remember that any implement can be used well or badly, and it’s up to you to know the difference.  Be kind to your Sub – if you don’t genuinely care about her, you shouldn’t be disciplining her at all.   It is your responsibility to play safely, and always use a safeword (a safeword is simply a prearranged signal between the Top and the Sub, such as the words "mercy" or "red light", that lets the Top know the distress of the Sub is so great he must stop whatever he's doing immediately).  Also, encourage your Sub to let you know if she’s uncomfortable, even though she may not actually have reached her limit.  Non-verbal cues are equally important, and more so with some rather non-vocal women:  watch for any movement of her hips in response to the stroke; if she moves, you can be sure she felt the sting!  Make adjustments as necessary. 

 

There are some Puritan-Penitent types (not all) who believe that that only a very intense pain is appropriate, and that anything less is somehow illegitimate.  At the risk of digressing from purely technical matters to the philosophical realm, let me say I strongly disagree.  These people are, consciously or not, striving to re-create what was obviously an unpleasant and often a traumatic childhood experience, bordering on abuse (and sometimes crossing the line).  Isn’t it better to have a mutually satisfying, pleasurable, and above all safe experience?  There’s certainly nothing wrong with a session which emphasizes discipline and punishment (I love this type of session myself), but in my opinion this can be achieved through strictness of manner and by giving enough sting so that the Sub perceives that she is being disciplined.  The point here is that a bringing a pleasurable fantasy to life is far superior to re-creating an unpleasant reality which, ironically, was probably responsible for warping the Top and/or the Sub and turning them into deviants in the first place.  More will be said about this in a separate article.

 

            How many strokes to apply:  There is no set answer here as it depends on the Sub, the implement, and the intensity of the strokes.  Actual school paddlings are generally 3 – 5 swats (but sometimes more) delivered very hard with a heavy (typically ½” thick) wooden paddle.  I strongly advise the use of a thinner or leather paddle, applied with much less force but with many more swats. I usually employ only a wrist stroke, leaving the stronger muscles of the upper arm and shoulder out of play.  Most women should be able to take 50 swats like this, with some being able to handle 100 or more (remember that we are not talking about full force swats here).   Traditional school canings were “six of the best”, delivered pretty much full force, with 12 strokes being given on occasion.  Again, much depends on the degree of force used, the thickness of the cane, and the tolerance of the Sub. 

 

            How rapidly should the strokes be applied?:  Again, there is no set answer here as it depends on the Sub, the implement, and the intensity of the strokes.  I prefer about 10 seconds in between paddle swats (not full intensity) or 30 seconds in between strokes of the cane to let the sting really sink in and allow time to build anticipation before the next one. More rapid tempos are often employed. Experience is the best teacher here. One of the advantages of playing with the same Sub many times is that you gradually get a feel for what works best for her. And don't hesitate to ask her about this after the session (ask questions before and after, rather than during the session as much as possible). 

Male Tops must be careful when bringing the stronger muscles of the upper arm and shoulder into play; one technique that is sometimes useful especially with beginning Tops is to place a book under the arm.  This will force the Top to use the wrist and forearm only when giving the stroke.  We hesitate to even mention F/M spanking, as we consider it much less natural than M/F, but we will point out that with F/M, somewhat more force can be used.

Sometimes an exact number of strokes is specified right at the beginning of the session.  This would normally be done in two cases:  (1) the Sub is known to find this especially exciting; (2) in an extremely formal disciplinary session, perhaps resulting from the violation of certain rules which were previously specified and agreed to.  For example smoking a cigarette could result in 3 cane strokes.  The Top in these cases must do the right thing and not let the Sub off the hook.  We know of one case in which for each instance of indulging in junk food, a very sweet young lady was assessed 10 swats with the paddle.  Another young woman was once driving around town without wearing her seat belt.  Fortunately, it was a small town, and her caring Top happened to pull up next to her at a traffic light and noticed the unfastened seat belt (busted!).  Not long afterwards that little joyride cost her 50 swats on her bare bottom, if we remember rightly.  Good girls arouse much more sympathy than bad ones, but rules are rules, and when even a good girl breaks them she has to pay the penalty - for her own good, of course.    

 

            Marking:   This is a very controversial topic, and there is virtually no agreement within the spanking community on the subject.  First, we must define what we mean by “marking”.  Even the mildest spanking will result in a reddening of the bottom, which will last at most for a few hours.  We do not consider this marking at all.  A light session with paddle, strap, or cane will do the same, and in addition may leave some slight marks that will last at most 24 hours.  This should be considered acceptable by the Sub.  A moderate session with these implements may leave slight bruises (paddle, strap) or welts (also known as weals) (strap, cane) lasting a couple of days.  Our view is that this is acceptable provided the Sub understands that this may occur and is agreeable. 

A heavier session can result in marks lasting for many days or even several weeks, and/or the skin actually being broken.  In our opinion, this is unacceptable even if the Sub understands and agrees to it.  We consider that marking to this extent represents physical injury, and it is always wrong to actually harm someone, even if that is what she desires.  The Top must always place the health and welfare of the Sub above all other considerations, including whatever desires either or both of them may have.  Again, while we note that not all would agree with this view, we have yet to see anyone come up with a satisfactory justification for such heavy play (sorry, but “I felt like it” or “she wanted it to be that hard” or "that's how it used to be done in school" are not serious moral arguments, only empty rationalizations).  Through experience and as one would expect, we have found that heavier implements are more likely to bruise, and if a Sub requires a fairly intense sting, we try to achieve it by applying a larger number of strokes with a lighter implement.

We close our remarks on this subject by mentioning that many women find the idea of being marked strangely appealing.  Perhaps we should not use the word “strangely”, for it is the idea rather than the actual process of marking that has the appeal, and on closer examination makes sense when we take into account female psychology as a whole.  Women like to have something tangible to remind them of an important emotional experience, for instance a letter or a present to remind them of a special evening.  Being disciplined by a man is usually a significant emotional experience for a woman, and the marks in this context represent his caring, his concern for her, and the attention he paid to her.

 

Counting: 

This applies to disciplinary-type sessions.  No general rule can be given.  Some people love counting, some people hate it, and some are indifferent.  If the Sub enjoys counting, then make her count at least some of the swats (or strokes).  Note that we said “make her count”, for being instructed to count the strokes is a very exciting part of the experience for this type.  She wants to be told what to do and made to comply – actually this is true of any woman into spanking.  “Don’t ask her, tell her” is the best advice here and good advice during a session generally.  Tell her how she is to count the strokes for you.  Some examples are “One sir, Two Sir, etc.; ”One, thank you sir, Two, thank you sir, etc.”  What if she fails to count a particular stroke?  Then give her the “same” stroke over again and again until she remembers to count it.

 

What to Say: 

It is impossible to overestimate the effect that words have on a woman.  Women are extremely verbally oriented – notice that spanking stories are often written with female readers in mind, whereas spanking pictures and videos tend to have a greater appeal for men.  A good pre-spanking lecture is generally imperative.  Emphasize what she has done wrong, tell her that this is unacceptable, and that you are now going to discipline her because you care about her.  In some cases particular words or phrases carry great emotional weight with a Sub, for example “this is for your own good.”  Why is this so?  Usually, the answer lies in actual childhood experiences or in childhood or adolescent spanking fantasies.  Remember, we often tell a spanked child that the spanking was for her own good, and these words, spoken initially so long ago, can continue to have great emotional resonance for the adult Sub.  With some women, it can be regarded as an absolute necessity to actually use the words “this is for your own good” or “I’m going to spank you now for your own good” etc.  Some other examples of phrases that are important for certain Subs are “You’ve been a (very) bad girl”, “Turn over my knee”, “Bend over”, “Assume the position”, “Look straight ahead”, etc.

            Once you begin applying the implement, less talk (but not stone-dead silence) is usually desirable.  If the Sub begins to “zone out” (that is, appears to become gradually lost in a world of her own), talk less.

How do you know if something you say is a turn-on for your Sub?  Watch her reaction very closely – a sharp intake of breath, a nervous laugh, a little exclamation, or if she appears to be experiencing a “weak-in-the-knees” sensation, indicates that she found those words or phrases exciting for whatever reason.  Be sure to use these same words again next time!

            Penalty Swats:  Yes, we know – in a disciplinary session, isn’t everything a penalty?  In a way, yes, but in addition to rules whose violation results in the discipline, there are rules during the session itself, and breaking any of them calls for additional discipline to be applied.  We usually call this extra discipline Penalty Swats (paddle) or Penalty Strokes (cane), and it is applied after all the “regular” strokes have been administered.  One rule I always enforce regards position:  it must be held at certain times.  Right after the swat is applied and the stinging is most intense, I allow the Sub to move around a little – it would be pretty unkind not to.  But once she settles back into position, that position must be held steadily while I aim and apply the next swat, otherwise it might land off-target.  Other rules can cover things like the use of profanity, failing to comply with instructions, getting out of position without permission after the “last” swat, allowing either heel to touch the floor if the Sub has been instructed to stand on tiptoe (with one of the bent-over positions), etc.  Whatever rules there are must in fairness be carefully explained to the Sub before the session begins.  Ask her if she has any questions and if she understands all the rules.  That way, she can willingly accept any penalties she earns as just.

            How many penalty swats to give?  I recommend 5 – 10 paddle swats or 1 – 3 cane strokes for each violation of the rules.  I always make the Sub count penalty swats regardless of how she feels about counting.  Other things the Top can do to make the penalty stand out from the rest of the session include making the penalty swats more intense or giving them in a harder position (like touching the toes), or using a heavier implement.   

            Sexual Contact  Unless the Top and Sub are already lovers, there should be no sexual contact (touching, etc.) during the session. For the Top to initiate such contact is entirely inappropriate and represents a breach of the trust the Sub has placed in him. It may very well result in the Sub terminating the session and gives a bad reputation to Tops generally. Clear enough?

   I don't want to misunderstood here: I am not saying that spanking cannot be combined with sex, only that the Top may not assume from the Sub's consenting to be spanked that she is in any way consenting to sex as well. Among committed couples, sex may very well follow spanking. Non-sexual spanking relationships are quite common, however, a prime example being the submissive wife married to a vanilla (doesn't spank her) husband, who finds the discipline she needs with another man who acts as a friend and disciplinarian only.

 

Post-Session

 

Like all good things, eventually the session must come to an end (so to speak).  How do we treat the Sub then?  As remarked above, a spanking is an emotional as well as a physical experience for a woman, and in some cases the emotional aspect can be quite intense.  One thing that should never be neglected is the post-session hug.  The Top should take the sub in his arms and remind her that he cares about her, and (in case of a disciplinary session) that he had to discipline her for her own good.  Remember that your Sub, like any woman, needs to know that you care about her.  On the physical side, comfort may be given through the use of linaments and rubbing oils.  If the players are also lovers, the hug may be followed by kissing, etc.