Inexpensive and plentiful, paperback novels became a mainstay of American popular entertainment in the 1930's, although they had been around earlier. We must have read a million of them in the 60's and 70's - mainly mystery, sports, and science-fiction - but other genres were available too. In this example, which we found on vincekeenan.com, a site devoted to popular culture, a hard-boiled P.I. named Shell Scott scrambles the Yegg family while (we think) solving a murder mystery. Along the way he apparently finds it necessary to spank a woman about twenty years younger than he is, an investigative technique of which we heartily approve - it's not only cheaper than forensic science, but more fun, too. In fact, if we ever decided to go the P.I. route ourselves, we're pretty sure this would be the first thing we'd try on every case.

Maybe we should try to make a TV pilot along these lines. We can see it now: exchanging its magnifying glass for a paddle, and the carrot-top David Caruso for the balding-top Web-Ed, CSI Miami would become CPI Chicago (that's Corporal Punishment Investigation). We'd begin by interrogating all the female suspects, paddle in hand to encourage their full cooperation. Ah well, dumber ideas have certainly made it on the air, so who knows - we just might make it next year as a midseason replacement!