Such a fuss
Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:13 pm
Various message boards are reporting that, in the new movie The Descendants (2011), George Clooney actually "spanks" his on-screen daughter, played by the 20-year-old Shailene Woodley. This is assumed to be good news, since screen spankings are so few and far between nowadays.
I have not seen the movie. But from scanning the various message boards, both spanko and vanilla, we get the info that the "spanking" is not a spanking at all. It is only ONE SWAT. Who in the hell in Hollywood is it, that considers a single swat to be a spanking? And then makes a big deal out of it?
Wait, it gets worse. Reading another board, we learn that we don't even get to see the swat LAND!!
Folks, this is sneaky cinema deception at its ugliest. We keep reading that George Clooney "spanks" his new co-star; but apparently it is NOT a spanking, it's a swat that may or may not actually land on its target. We will never know, because we will never see it.
What is it going to take, to get Hollywood back with the program?
A REAL spanking is a fanny-whacking that is repeated, continuously and over a fair length of time, preferably a male spanking a female. And the movies HAVE shown us spankings like that, even in this new century. Consider Secretary (2002), Adrift in Manhattan (2007), Showtime's "Weeds" (2008), HBO's "Bored to Death" (2010), plus any number of South American telenovelas filmed in the last decade. In fact, just in this year's HBO version of "Mildred Pierce" (2011), Kate Winslet won an Emmy for her role in which she puts her 11-year-old daughter (Morgan Turner) over her knee and wallops her soundly. We don't usually mention child-spankings here, but it gives you an idea what a real cinematic spanking can look like.
Now, THOSE are "spankings." But a single swat to the seat of one's daughter -- which the audience never gets to see -- is definitely NOT a "spanking." If what I've written here turns out to be correct, please, everybody, STOP promoting this insult to our intelligence. There is NO spanking in The Descendants.
Cheers,
Dan
I have not seen the movie. But from scanning the various message boards, both spanko and vanilla, we get the info that the "spanking" is not a spanking at all. It is only ONE SWAT. Who in the hell in Hollywood is it, that considers a single swat to be a spanking? And then makes a big deal out of it?
Wait, it gets worse. Reading another board, we learn that we don't even get to see the swat LAND!!
Folks, this is sneaky cinema deception at its ugliest. We keep reading that George Clooney "spanks" his new co-star; but apparently it is NOT a spanking, it's a swat that may or may not actually land on its target. We will never know, because we will never see it.
What is it going to take, to get Hollywood back with the program?
A REAL spanking is a fanny-whacking that is repeated, continuously and over a fair length of time, preferably a male spanking a female. And the movies HAVE shown us spankings like that, even in this new century. Consider Secretary (2002), Adrift in Manhattan (2007), Showtime's "Weeds" (2008), HBO's "Bored to Death" (2010), plus any number of South American telenovelas filmed in the last decade. In fact, just in this year's HBO version of "Mildred Pierce" (2011), Kate Winslet won an Emmy for her role in which she puts her 11-year-old daughter (Morgan Turner) over her knee and wallops her soundly. We don't usually mention child-spankings here, but it gives you an idea what a real cinematic spanking can look like.
Now, THOSE are "spankings." But a single swat to the seat of one's daughter -- which the audience never gets to see -- is definitely NOT a "spanking." If what I've written here turns out to be correct, please, everybody, STOP promoting this insult to our intelligence. There is NO spanking in The Descendants.
Cheers,
Dan