Web-Ed,

My beautiful is very willing to take a spanking and enjoys them.  My situation is that I like to receive them as well and it is difficult for me to be spanked by my wife.  She is submissive and doesn't come across as being dominant at any point.  When she does try, it's hard for me to look at her that way.  I give myself spankings to satisfy my needs but I would like to enjoy spankings from a beautiful woman as my wife.  Any suggestions on how to submit to her and receive a good OTK spanking from her?

Thanks,
R.
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If you have a beautiful wife who enjoys taking a spanking, you don’t know how lucky you are! That being said, I understand your predicament – although the focus at CSR is primarily M/F, I have long been planning to write an article explaining how the various spanking orientations come about, and including the difficulties faced by men in your position. Perhaps I should put that subject in a separate article.

I don’t have the space here to go into the subject in the detail I would prefer, but the fact is that female Tops will always be less common than female Subs, so it will always be easier to find a woman to spank than one who is willing to give a spanking. Some women, whether vanilla or Sub, can learn how to spank, but in general the more submissive she is the harder this will be for her and the more unnatural it will seem.

Again, I think you’re lucky that your wife is willing to try to spank you – many women wouldn’t even make the attempt. But obviously she’s having trouble being truly dominant, which is why you’re having trouble accepting her in that role. Self-spanking among men is highly unusual, and I’m not surprised that you don’t find it completely satisfying. I can suggest three courses of action:

(1) Show her some femdom videos and see if she can pick up the dominant manner from them. I don’t actually believe this will work but it’s worth a try.

(2) Tell her to spank you exactly the same way you spank her – I’m assuming that you spank her with the necessary authority. This might give her the idea of what you’re looking for.

(3) Get your spankings from someone other than your wife. Unless you live in a metropolitan area with a pro domme, this could prove difficult. A “cross” between this idea and #1 above would be to see a pro domme along with your wife so she could see how it’s done. You might also consider traveling to one of the major spanking parties (Shadow Lane, or Crimson Moon here in Chicago), where there will be at least a few female Tops.

Good luck – I’d love to hear how it goes!

Web-Ed

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