Threats and Missed Opportunities

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The Lois Lane Spanking Letters, which among other things detailed the case for spanking Lois, was just posted yesterday. Today I obtained a copy of Lois Lane #56 (April 1965), which provides even more justification for taking Lois OTK. Here's the very first page, showing us "The Snoopiest Girl in History":

Lois breaks into some scientist's laboratory, only to find a stern-looking Superman barring her way. But did he administer an object lesson she wouldn't soon forget? No! The result was that Lois goes back into time and (I'm not making this up) opens Pandora's box!

Later that same issue, Superman once again concludes he needs to teach Lois a lesson (and Lana, too). And once again, instead of the quick, effective, and humane method of spanking, he elects instead to rig an elaborate masquerade, pretending to be someone called "Ideal-Man"!


Two very interesting things about that last panel:
1. The final caption asks a question only to answer it. "Did Superman's 'lesson' do the girls much good? Evidently not!" And what conclusion should be drawn from this, we ask? That Superman should have used sterner methods.
2. Kurt Schaffenberger drew Lois and Lana with their right hands in such a position that they could be rubbing their sore behinds! Was this Schaffenberger's way of commenting on the story, implying that it would have been much better had there been a double-spanking of Lois and Lana? What a great scene that would have been, and you could keep the dialogue exactly the same!

[butch46163@yahoo.com]

THERES another group of females that shouldv'e gotten spanked and those are the bad girls of pulp comic and magazines.How could the writers and artists miss out on giving these bad girls villainesess and femme fatales their commeuppance.And boy how these women"s ample posteriors was in desperate need of roasting across the lap of a strong man. If she could punch; shoot, or kill a man then she should be woman enough to take her punishment via' a good hard tail blazing spanking So that us readers could felt that justice was finally done.

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This subject came up recently over on the SpankingPanels.com forum, and since I was of course unable to keep my big mouth shut over there, I decided to repeat myself here, where I've only made 519 other posts (true, as of this date).

First, I should mention that there was a scene in Fantastic Four #38 (May, 1965) which was either a missed opportunity or perhaps an intended spanking that Stan Lee basically wrote out of the script. That one may be found in Comics Gallery 2 by following the link. [Note: I later decided that the Comics Code had censored Sue's spanking, requiring the panel to be redrawn and the lettering redone. See the page or my article on how the Code affected spanking in comics.]

But ten issues earlier, in FF #28, the X-Men's Marvel Girl also just barely escaped being spanked by The Thing!


Years later, Roy Thomas had taken over the scripting (and editing) chores from Stan the Man, and once again Susan came within a hair's breadth of getting the OTK treatment she deserved - and her own husband gave his blessing to the spanking!
This scene is from FF #164:

Unfortunately, Sue was able to get out of being spanked once again.

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Four girls in romance comics who really needed the OTK treatment:

1. Lone Star Lou - there's really only one way to tame a girl like this, and we all know what it is! Unfortunately, no spanking for Lone Star Lou here.

"The Taming of Lone-Star Lou" in Cowgirl Romances #5.

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2. Another Wildcat - the title says, but still no spanking.

A real wildcat in Heart Throbs #32.

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3. A spoiled Hollywood actress tears up the set - this is getting annoying. Isn't there one real man out there who will do what needs to be done?

Another hellcat and spoiled Hollywood actress, from Love Confessions #9.

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4. "I Misbehaved" - she even admits it! Spank her already, you idiots!

"I Misbehaved" - she even admits it! From Teen-Age Romances #18.

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Then we have some missed opportunities that were largely positional rather than temperamental:

5. Feature Comics #116:

Perky journeys to a land where the queen has made all the other women ugly. Opening a beauty salon, he tricks the queen, turning her ugly as well, and when she goes searching for the now-invisible Perky, she bends over, providing him with a tempting target indeed. Unfortunately, he has no paddle handy and gives her a swift kick instead.


6. Feature Comics #55: There was a strip called Big Top featuring Butch the Clown. I can't tell you how many hideous M/M slapstick paddlings I found there (they're all documented in the Comics Spanking Data Base), but just this once, we almost got to enjoy a M/F paddling! Butch, on his day off, helps a young lady search for her missing compact. After suffering various tortures, he finds out the compact was in her purse all the time. And to top it off, instead of a kiss, she offers him a pass to - the circus, of all things! That settles it - somebody needs a paddling!

I'd like to think she had to come down from that pole eventually, fanny-first, to meet Butch's paddle !

7. Feature Funnies #15: We've seen a couple of spankings in Dixie Dugan. This time, Dixie herself touches her toes when instructed to do so by a radio program, and without bending her knees, which is very important for good paddling. Alas, no one showed up with a paddle at the critical time .


8. Torchy #4: There are few comics heroines we've wanted to see spanked more than Bill Ward's Torchy! This episode was as close as we ever got (as far as we know), with Torchy actually positioned over the knee of a surprised taxi cab passenger. I think I'd have acted reflexively and started to spank her immediately (at least that's the excuse I'd use at my trial), but this guy does nothing!

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Another missed opportunity from the Superman Family, this one is called "The Duel Over Superman". Written by Robert Bernstein and drawn by Kurt Schaffenberger, It has the look and feel of a Lois Lane story, but it's actually from Superman #150 (January 1962).

The plot, like many others during this era, is based on the rivalry between Lois Lane and Lana Lang. Now, Superman is not blameless here, because it wasn't fair of him not to make a clear choice between them or else tell them both he would never marry. This was one of the big flaws in the Superman mythos, the fault of editor Mort Weisinger, and the only attempt to explain Superman's conduct was made 24 years later by Alan Moore in "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" - the last (and last "imaginary") story that featured the Superman we had all known up to that time. However, let's put that aside and take a look at this particular story.

Lois comes up with a plan to make Superman choose between her and Lana: they will fake a deadly duel to the death, and to stop them from killing each other, Superman will choose one. Lana agrees, both girls figuring that he will choose her.


Schaffenberger does a fine job with Lana's expression, making her look like the schemer she is, and this one panel alone is enough to make me want to see them both get the comeuppance they deserve. But let's continue: just as Lois and Lana planned, Jimmy Olsen alerts Superman to the "duel". Superman concludes, as he so often did, that "I've decided I must teach those two a lesson!"


And this is where it gets really frustrating - time after time, Superman would declare that he needed to "teach a lesson" to Lois or Lana or both, but he never did so by the safe, certain, CSR-approved method of SPANKING! Instead, he builds two Lois and Lana robots!


It's actually very peculiar that Superman changes to Clark Kent and assembles the robots in his apartment instead of in his Fortress of Solitude - if a neighbor had dropped in just then, he'd have had a hard time explaining what two half-dressed female robots were doing in his living room - and this is the only panel in the entire story in which he assumes his Clark identity. Of course this elaborate plan goes awry, and in the last panel, Superman concedes "my lesson backfired against me". Why didn't he learn that instead of these elaborate schemes, simple spankings would "teach a lesson" far more effectively? And come to think of it, the girls also unfairly dragged Jimmy into this mess, so he's entitled to a little satisfaction also and we could have had a nice Superman/Lana Jimmy/Lois double-spanking!

Next time try spanking them, Supes!

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Here are three more examples, all of them taken from Lois Lane #28 (Oct. 1961)! First, Superman meets his great-great....great-granddaughter in the distant future, and she's inherited Lois' brattiness. The story makes no sense, but in the panel shown here (drawn by John Forte) she's using excessive super-speed and causing a problem because she wouldn't listen to Supes:

Copyright DC Comics Inc.

When Supes caught up with her, he should have taken her right over his knee, the way a great-great....great-grandpappy should!

In the next story, Lois is teaching a class for reporters and has arranged a stage with multiple sets! The whole thing is bizarre: it's not young journalism students but seasoned reporters that Lois is supposedly teaching, and they shouldn't need any advice from her on how to do their jobs. And where on earth would the institution (whatever it is) get the money to construct a full-size revolving set??

Anyway, Lois here asks Jimmy to help her re-create a tight situation she once found herself in. You won't believe what she asks him to do:

Copyright DC Comics Inc.

I think it's Lois who's been taking lessons - from Wonder Woman - and the subject was bondage ! "Jimmy Olsen, will you kindly tie me up?"

"Be glad to Lois, and then I'm going to give you a good spanking!"

The third example was titled "Lois Lane's Super-Lesson". Now as we, and all the Lois Lane readers who kept writing in on the subject, know full well, the only "Super-Lesson" Lois really needed was a Super-Spanking from Superman ! Needless to say, once again he pulls off a series of ridiculous and time-consuming stunts to humiliate her by setting her up with some fat Prince or other, instead of just taking her OTK and giving her what she deserved:

Copyright DC Comics Inc.

What a waste of time! Well, I couldn't stand it any more, so despite possessing zero artistic talent, I've created a fake image to show what Superman should have done to Lois!!


The way IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!

For anyone with real artistic talent who would like to try doing a better fake than this (it won't be hard), here are links to the two images you can download and use: Lois in Spanking Position and
Superman Seated with Hand Raised (obviously you'll need to put Lois' image over those of the two super-tots just as I did).

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I could have added this to the previous post, but it's not really a case of a missed spanking opportunity. Of course this is purely unintentional, but you have to wonder how the editor missed this when it came across his desk:


Copyright DC Comics Inc.
Forget about Lois' supposedly futuristic super-brain - that kind of silliness was always taking place in the "Superman Family" books - what really matters here is that it looks like an illicit rendezvous between Superman and Lois at a tacky Las Vegas motel! To make matters worse, the name of the place is the Lucky Lady Motel ! Yep, this is where guys take their gals when they want to "get lucky".

Oh, my !

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There were a fair number of Holliday sorority girls paddlings in Wonder Woman, but there were also an interesting number of unused paddles and paddling references. Here are two of them:

In the first, from Wonder Woman #5, we see that guards in the women's prison on Mars are armed not with guns, but with paddles! Of course, there's also lots of bondage in evidence. You have to love the prisoners' "uniform" also. No paddling, though.

Copyright DC Comics, Inc.

In the second, Wonder Woman is trying to get a depressed young woman named Gay to become happily integrated into society. How to do that? She turns Gay over to Etta Candy and her Holliday College girls! In this scene, Etta demands to know what secret wishes Gay has kept in her heart. Notice that Etta and the unnamed girl at right are both carrying paddles! (At least, Harry Peters' weird idea of what sorority paddles looked like). We may infer that these paddles had recently been applied to Gay's backside - now that's the way to cheer her up!

Copyright DC Comics, Inc.

There's really nothing like Wonder Woman !

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Worst of all the Superman Family comic books back in the Silver and Bronze Ages was Jimmy Olsen. I've recently been forced to go through a lot of back issues of this title as part of my search for The Holy Grail of comic-book spankings, finding only some really bad M/M stuff for my efforts. But there were definite possibilities, particularly where Lucy Lane (Lois' sister and Jimmy's sometime girlfriend during these years) was concerned.

Now Jimmy Olsen was certainly no prize catch as a boyfriend, but even so Lucy treats him rather badly. Let's see an example:

Copyright DC Comics, Inc.

First of all, only DC would even think of printing a panel this goofy - Lucy wallops Jimmy with the arm of a female robot! Unprovoked physical violence like this is clearly grounds for a spanking, and Jimmy should have administered one on the spot.

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Here's one more, from Wonder Woman #8 (Spring 1944). It's pretty strange, but we've grown to expect that by now. Upon being issued a rifle, Etta Candy's first thought is that it would make a good paddle!

Copyright DC Comics, Inc.

Major Steve Trevor takes the Holliday College girls with him into battle, so he issues them army rifles and steel helmets - what could be more natural?

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We haven't seen any of these for a while, so let's look, wonder, and weep at some of these missed opportunities for spankings in comics:
1. Terry Thunder disarms a female rebel leader and refuses to hurt her, but misses an obvious chance to administer his third spanking in the jungle. He blew some other chances too, now that we think about it. (From Jungle Comics #61.)


2. We'll see in a moment why Kaanga's mate Ann deserves another spanking (she actually did get spanked once- it's in Comics Gallery 2), but for now, we can see her spankable bottom as she clings to a tree in Jungle Comics #137.


3. Here's why she deserves to be spanked: Kaanga saves her life and she gives him a lot of attitude, then slaps his face! If you're going to be lord of the jungle, Kaanga old boy, you'd better start by being master of your own house. From Jungle Comics #62.



4. Ripley found this example of a spanking threat in Love Confessions #7. "When this is over you're going to get a spanking that'll leave you standing for a month!" Big talk, tough guy, but where's the spanking?

Later in the story, it almost looks like she's rubbing her sore bottom after having been spanked in this beach scene. Unfortunately, that's not what it is. Why she's posed like this with her hands behind her back isn't clear.


5. Glory Forbes gets shot in the behind by her nephew Denis with his slingshot in Rangers #29. Unfortunately, she winds up spanking him in the last panel of the story while four other adults wait their turn to let him have it also. Good art by George Tuska; wasted opportunity for a nice role-reversal nephew/aunt spanking.

[butch46163@yahoo.com]

HI WEB- ED ! That would have been a shock to see Denise spanks his Aunt Nice drawing love how her dress flew up showing shaply thighs This woman did needed to be spanked

[web-ed]

Majory Victory #1 introduced us to a feature called "The Unholy Three" about a trio of crime-fighters. We see two of them here, Dale and Pearl. Dale, who is rather short, has enlisted the aid of a fire hose in subduing a couple of the bad guys. Pearl mocks him, so he shoots her in the rear with the high-powered water spray. I really wish he'd taken the hose across her behind (like he did with one of the gangsters) because that would've surely stung! Anyway, here's the panel of interest:


"The Unholy Three" never really caught on, which is understandable. Harder to understand is why anyone thought The Unholy Three was a good title for a team of crime fighters. Villains, yes, but heroes? Might as well have been The Impious Five or The Sacrilegious Seven .

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As everyone knows, I like to group related objects together. I had a few pratfall scenes saved up, and Robin not too long ago sent me a bunch of his cover finds, so I selected the pratfall ones and combined them with the ones I already had, and here they are. Of course they're not anywhere near as good as spankings, but readers may find them of some interest.

I also have in my paper comics collection one with Zatanna taking the pratfall, but because she does some nice rubbing afterward I want to do an after-spanking fake with it. Besides, I can't locate the issue right now, so it couldn't be included here anyway.

1. Etta Kett #12 - standard teen humor fare of the period.


2. Junior #11 - probably the most widely seen of these pratfalls for some reason.


3. Meet Merton #3 - I've seen this one posted before, I think over at SpankingPanels (I may even be the poster myself). The cover art is by EC and MAD artist Davy Berg, who also drew some girlie cartoons for Humorama. No "spankers" (as the editor called them) though, which is a pity because Berg was a pretty good girlie cartoonist.


4. Sweet Sixteen #4 - this was from a two-page feature called "Ballerina", which purports to be the short biography of a true-life ballerina. The pratfall seen here is supposedly from the stage version of Oklahoma (1943), although I don't remember seeing it in the movie version, which I believe preserved much of Agnes DeMille's original choreography.


5. Thirteen #25 - more teen-age silliness.

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Majory Victory #1 introduced us to a feature called "The Unholy Three" about a trio of crime-fighters. We see two of them here, Dale and Pearl. Dale, who is rather short, has enlisted the aid of a fire hose in subduing a couple of the bad guys. Pearl mocks him, so he shoots her in the rear with the high-powered water spray. I really wish he'd taken the hose across her behind (like he did with one of the gangster) because that would've surely stung!

OR (As you probably already know, I prefer seeing a strong male hand applied to a pretty female backside) if Dale had just put Pearl over his diminutive lap and used his hand to spank her waterlogged bottom, I would've been happy! The dialog could've remained the same if the artist had drawn a spanking right there! "Are you a man?" INDEED!

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We've recently (June) seen Lady Death spanking Pariah in Comics Gallery 2, and in the wake of that post seen some other examples right here in the CSR Forum (search on "Lady Death" to find them, preferably from the Google Search on the Home Page because it works better than the built-in search here). One thing that came to my attention is that Lady Death wore an extremely skimpy, tonga-style bikini bottom that in some panels vanished entirely, much to everyone's pleasure I'm sure! I recently obtained a few more high-grade but inexpensive comics featuring LD, and there were a few panels that I'd like to share in which once again LD displays her bare bottom for all to see.

1. Walking into a bar filled with roughnecks is always a little risky for a single woman. Doing so with your bare bottom exposed is almost sure to lead to this kind of problem:

From Lady Death and Bedlam #1. Copyright Brian Pulido.

2. Later in the same scene, another patron can't resist giving LD's bottom a pat. This one almost qualifies as a spanking, but not quite because I don't think he can really get his hand on the target area while she's sitting down.

From Lady Death and Bedlam #1. Copyright Brian Pulido.

3. At some point in the story, there's a big fight between Lady Death and this bozo, whose name escapes me now. He's throwing a left - if I were in his place, I'd take advantage of LD having turned to her right. She's left her bottom bare and vulnerable to a good spank with the right hand! I don't know if that would be considered fighting fair, but it sure would be fighting fun!

From Lady Death and Bedlam #1. Copyright Brian Pulido.

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Yes, it really happened, in The World of Metropolis #2 (Sept. 1988)! So why is it here under "missed opportunities" and why can't we see it, you ask? Unfortunately, there are several problems:

1. It takes place off-panel - what a cheat! And my standards for comic-book spankings are stricter than for Humorama cartoons, where any mention of spanking or a before or after scene qualifies: for something to count as a comic-book spanking, there must be actual contact between the hand or hand-held implement and the spankee's buttocks, and it must be visible in one or more panels. Luthor has one of his female assistants hold Lois in place while he picks up what looks like a short (by spanking standards) cane, but we don't see the cane actually land on target.
2. We do get to see some after-the-spanking rubbing, in fact in two separate panels. Incidentally, the pencils are by Win Mortimer, who did the famous Batman spanks Marcia Monroe spanking in 1966, 22 years earlier.
3. And the big one: Lois is only fifteen years old in this story (she tells Perry White she's nineteen - she should have been spanked by Perry as well when he discovers her fib!). So the scene would run afoul of CSR's "no children getting spanked" policy even if it were shown.

Therefore it doesn't qualify for the Comics Spanking Data Base, although I will send the panels along to anyone who requests them. John Byrne, no feminist, scripted this one, but there's no indication that he's a spanko; in context, Luthor's spanking of Lois is supposed to make him look cruel and sadistic as well as perverted. We can only wish Byrne had chosen to show all that with an adult Lois Lane, and had shown the actual spanking .

[butch46163@yahoo.com]

HI WEB-ED CSR! Would have love seeing Luthor cane Lois Lane bottom!! Even though the artist wanted to make Luthor crule and sadist I think it would have been better to spank her over his knees To me seeing Luthor inflict pain on a teenage girl for sadist pleasure is child abuse that why I think it would have been much better to spank her over his lap on panel or off!

[web-ed]

I did some of Robin's finds a while back, but only the pratfall ones, so I'd like to share his others now. He sent me so many we'll do them in two parts. This group consists mainly of spankable bottoms.

1. Cowgirl Romances #3 - this series featured a lot of spankable cowgirls on its covers, so many I think the artist must have enjoyed drawing shapely bottoms, although I haven't found any spankings yet. First up is this cowgirl in a tight skirt.


2. Cowgirl Romances #5 - this one looked really promising - "The Taming of Lone-Star Lou" - but our sorely-provoked cowpoke doesn't know enough to take Lou over his knee! He must have spent too much time alone on the prarie .


3. Cowgirl Romances #7 - "Nobody Loves a Gun Man" but evidently somebody does love a butt-man, because the female posterior is featured so prominently on these covers.


4. Cowgirl Romances #8 - "Wild Beauty" - talk about a missed opportunity! She's even got a branding iron in her hand - the dialogue practically writes itself: "Try to brand me, eh? I'll give you a branding on the seat of your britches!" [He turns her over his knee and spanks her]. Would that have been so difficult to write?


5. Suspiciously similar to Cowgirl Romances was Firehair: tight skirts over well-formed bottoms. On the cover of Firehair #4 we see a six-shootin' gal already close to being in OTK position. We're pretty sure we already posted this one on this board, but Robin did discover it independently so we'll see it again.


6. Firehair #6 - she really needs a flaming fanny to go along with her red hair.


7. Fight Comics #38 - Another over-the-shoulder positioning which always makes me think of spanking:


8. Fight Comics #50 - The stripes on Tiger Girl's shorts make a great caning guide


9. Fight Comics #78 - Ditto. Of course, you can take her OTK if you don't like the cane...


10. Terrors of the Jungle #7 - Another jungle girl who needs a spanking.


11. Wartime Romances #16 - another well-shaped bottom, needing to get spanked!


12. Western Picture Stories - over the horse position - we've actually seen one spanking like this!

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Part 3: these are all suggestive of spanking, at least to the true spanko.

1. Ballyhoo - A girl in a classroom wearing a dunce cap - how could it not make one think of school corporal punishment?


2. G.I. Jane - While we admire her dedication to mixing up milkshakes, if she's so willing to lend her bottom to the cause, as it were, she'd do far more for morale by turning herself over some dogface's knee, or bending over to take swats from the paddle of a lonely G.I. That's our opinion as CSR Morale Officer, anyway!


3. I Loved - Another great Fox Good Girl Art cover of the kind Dr. Wertham so loathed, our cover girl is actually speaking the
words that are guaranteed to get her spanked: "You wouldn't dare!" Oh yes we would, dear!


4. Meet Corliss Archer - they should have re-titled this one "Spank Corliss Archer," which is what's likely to happen next: Dad doesn't look too pleased by that skimpy swimsuit she's trying on!


5. Camp Runamuck - We go from Corliss Archer to a Careless Archer who didn't pay enough attention to where the arrow she shot was heading. To help her concentrate better in the future on where her arrow is going to land, our troop leader (the guy with the arrow through his hat) should land some well-placed swats where they'll do the most good!


6. Camp Comics #1 - more "camp" now as our cover girl says her nightly prayers while her trapdoor comes unbuttoned. We have to explain to younger folks that such trapdoors in the seat of old-fashioned long johns were placed there for convenience when it was time for a trip to the out-house. But they're convenient for another purpose as well, which immediately comes to mind here: "Take down your trapdoor, young lady, and turn over my knee!"


7. Sunny - she may be "America's sweetheart" as the cover blurb claims, but that won't spare her the sore bottom she's about to get from being "butted" by that angry bull! We'd prefer to see her get a maintenance spanking, though - just a little something to make sure she stays as sweet as she looks.


8. Good Humor #11 - Good Humor was Charlton's entry into the Humorama-style market for girlie cartoons. Although it deteriorated during the 70's and 80's, in its prime it was certainly a decent mag. Stanley Rayon, who also worked at Humorama and in fact did two spanking cartoons there, seems to have been the big gun at Good Humor since Ward & Wenzel weren't around too often, and he did a lot of covers including this one. Not only are this lovely girl's cami-knickers revealed as the hook pulls her dress up, she's placed in an excellent bending-over position as well. If only the workers had a few paddles, think of the fun they could've had swatting her around back and forth...


9. Good Humor #13 - Bill Ward attempts some musical humor as a singing teacher employs an unorthodox method for extending his female student's upper range. I think this kind of joke has a long pedigree, as I remember seeing something similar on the old Benny Hill Show. We have to wonder whether this was a spank, a pinch, or a goose, but in any case it did leave her rubbing her bottom, something we always like to see.


10. Good Humor #27 - Another cover by Stanley Rayon and another old joke of the "behind at risk" type: the bee just can't resist the target offered him as a pretty girl in a flower-patterned bikini bends over. We know just how he feels
This kind of sting, like that of the slingshot or pea-shooter, isn't as good as the spanking-kind of sting, but it's still fun. I liked this cover so much I actually used it as part of a fake spanking, combining it with The Jester swinging his paddle, which I'll post one of these days.


11. Good Humor spear that paper - this was my addition to the covers Robin provided. It's very similar to the preceding one, which is a "point" in its favor!


12. Boots and Her Buddies #8 - If there's no water around, her boyfriend should find another use for that paddle after she's made him lug that canoe all over the countryside for nothing! Note that there was a spanking (two scenes, in fact) in the previous issue of this comic, which we consider one of The Seven Spankings (a group of comic-book spankings that was known to exist even back in the 70's). Yes, we know a canoe paddle doesn't make a good spanking paddle in reality, but it sure works on the comics page, and Boots is really asking for it here!