the spanker

[samantha]

So now I really want to know, what does the spanker get out of spanking a woman? I get that there are different kinds of spankings and different relational contexts, but in general, what do you all get out of it? What need does it meet for you?

[web-ed]

For a number of reasons, Samantha, I'm going to keep this post short - too short to do the subject justice. First, for the benefit of my fellow Tops, I will inform them that most women who get spanked are like Samantha - they generally don't understand why we want to spank them, although they are pleased that we do, at least sometimes!

Elsewhere I have mentioned that M/F (erotic) spanking is about Dominance and Submission. I was explaining why women want to be spanked, but the D & S aspect is equally applicable to males, that is, men and women into spanking both see it the same way, but from opposite points of view. The female submits to the male, which is what she wants to do; the male dominates the female, which is what he wants to do. This is exactly analogous to ordinary sexual intercourse, where the act has the same meaning to male and female, namely female submission to stronger male power. Note that the relationship is complementary but not symmetrical: male dominates female, but female does not dominate male. The lack of symmetry in sex is one reason why so many feminists have a problem with it, whether they realize this or not.

M/F spanking (in its more erotic forms, at least), then, springs from normal male and female sexual psychology, which is why this is the most natural orientation. So do other mild forms of D&S such as light bondage, by the way (male restrains female), but it would take us too far afield to pursue these ideas further.

[hugob00m]

I'm sure that for some spankers, there is a desire to inflict actual pain. But that doesn't apply to most of us. I don't like to see a woman injured in any substantial way, such as bruises, welts, or broken skin. The warm red glow that fades in a few minutes is enough for me.

What web-ed said about the male desire to dominate a woman is probably the most correct answer that applies to most of us. And I think he's explained that aspect of it better than I ever could.

The other thing, which I consider to be my main motivation, is the attraction I feel towards the female buttocks. The shape appeals to my eye, and the feel of the rebound, when my hand slaps against a well-rounded buttcheek makes me tingle inside! Most men tend to focus on a specific part of a woman's body. More often than not, it's her breasts. For me, the most beautiful thing God ever created (in the physical world at least) is the backside of a woman! That is why I turn to watch every time a pretty girl walks away, and that is why I spank. (and fantasize about the ones I'll never get to put my hands on in real life)

[web-ed]

The other thing, which I consider to be my main motivation, is the attraction I feel towards the female buttocks. The shape appeals to my eye, and the feel of the rebound, when my hand slaps against a well-rounded buttcheek makes me tingle inside! Most men tend to focus on a specific part of a woman's body. More often than not, it's her breasts. For me, the most beautiful thing God ever created (in the physical world at least) is the backside of a woman! That is why I turn to watch every time a pretty girl walks away, and that is why I spank. (and fantasize about the ones I'll never get to put my hands on in real life)

Interesting that you brought up that point, b00m. You may remember that Phil advanced a theory (The Overbarrel Theory, as I dubbed it) along these lines in relation to identifying artists into spanking:

"it seems to me that men who are into spanking are generally less interested in breasts than the average male, concentrating more on the bottoms."

Your observation seems to apply to most male spankos. An interesting and still unanswered question at this point is, are bottom-fanciers more likely to become spankos, or is it that spankos quickly become bottom-fanciers? In other words, which comes first, or are they nearly simultaneous in a growing boy? For "true" spankos, that is, spankos who had a strong interest in spanking from a very early age, I suspect the two interests arise at almost the same time.

[butch46163@yahoo.com]

You two are so right but another part now this may sound sadistict but to me humiliation especially when spanking a older woman mid 20`s on up plays a part why we like spanking women! beside being into bottoms what other choice do you have other than sex is to spank a woman`s rear! Now what turns me on into spanking and this is me only is the act of humbling a headstrong woman with a spanking!Thats why I really like the old comic books comic strips that feature women being tame with a otk spanking A women`s pride is her bottom and giving it a spanking is pleasure in itself just like sex! There a saying a woman`s bottom was made to be spanked thats why it so big and round ever wonder why some women with large rears alway say they are into spanking The question I like to know is women who are into spanking how they got into it was it a guy that got them turn on are was it fantasties about being made submissive by a man! or maybe a father figure!

[hugob00m]

For me, humiliation is not something I would enjoy doing to a woman I love in real life, but I love seeing it in fiction! Two examples that immediately come to mind are Queen Pera in the old Phantom comic and, of course, McLintock!

[butch46163@yahoo.com]

It not to degrade a woman but having a mature woman in her 30`s 40 summit to a over the knee spanking is a real turn on! Also telling a grown woman that she isn`t to old to put over the lap is great especially if she headstrong or proud!

[overbarrel49]

hi Samantha,

to me, spanking is a highly sexual activity and what i get from it is a high degree of arousal. in my own case, practically any kind of spanking will arouse me but giving a girl a well deserved spanking to change her attitude or for naughty behavior is the most arousing. the more i blister her bare bottom, the more arousing i find it. now the question becomes why is that the case. there are lots of theories about all this and the replies to your question so far are some good examples of this. it seems to me this all varies with the individual spanker in the same way the needs of spankees vary with the individual. i have always felt that the man in any couple should be in charge, even though it may be the woman who actually runs the household and takes care of most of the couple's day to day business. it always just seemed right to me that the man should spank his wife/girlfriend when he thinks she needs a spanking and that she should totally submit not only to the spanking but also to the idea that she has no say in these matters. he is the one who decides when a spanking is necessary, he decides the duration of the spanking and he decides how intense it should be.

i think i my own case, ego has a lot to do with it. turning a girl over, pulling her panties down and spanking her bare bottom gives my ego a boost. this is good for me and in turn good for the girl and good for our relationship...........pretty much in the same way a good sexual encounter is. when my wife asked me why i liked spanking i told her, "there is no why..........that's just the way it is". that may not be totally correct since there no doubt are reasons for it which can be expressed in many ways as the other replies demonstrate. to me it just SEEMS right for a man to spank his woman even if i can't put my finger on all the reasons behind it. i hope the couple of ideas i have thrown out were helpful in answering your question. phil