"I've spanked a tinker's daughter by the light of a campfire for burning a meal and a princess of the blood royal before the assembled court for failing to balance the Budget."

I've spanked the grimy asses of gypsy girl thieves in villiage marketplaces while the hucksters barked their wares. I've spanked the 18 year old matriarch of a gang of teenybopper joy-riders by the side of fume-filled Mega-Highways. I've spanked self-styled Robina Hoods in the Wildwood where's there's no law beyond my firm right hand.

I've spanked, as an Officer of the Court, on the steps of the highest Court in the Land. Spanked as due sentence after all appeals have been heard and rejected. Spanked while crowds cheer and cameramen flash the shiny white panties of a 19 year old girl genius who's come within a whisker of bribing, tricking, and extorting her way to World Dominance. I've spanked a tinker's daughter by the light of a campfire for burning a meal and a princess of the blood royal before the assembled court for failing to balance the Budget.

I've spanked a white coated spectacled hackerette for crashing her world's Web while syphoning off funds from the Interstellar Banking System. Made her howl in her own high tech Laboratory as turtle size maintenance robot nudged my ankles in curiousity. I've spanked floating free in the waters of a World Ocean. Spanked as a personal favour a streaker through sacred groves.

A dance of choaking and churning, an impossible challenge both to spank with a professional swelp - the secret is always to keep one's left hand around the back of the waist and keep the bum out of the water-and neither to drown oneself in the sweet salt-free water- the taste came back to me for years whenever I had to spank a water breather- nor to drown the squirming little minx spankee in the - to her - toxic air. (I cheated I wore a snorkel.)

I've spanked Cleopatra as a Teen.

I've spanked a vimpire girl fromn a parallel reality along with her werewolf chums (a piece of cake if you gag their mouths). Found a way to chastise a girl made of energy fields who tried to drain the reality of our Universe; I pinned her down in an array of superconducting magnetic traps and projected a copy of myself also made of energy fields to grapple with her and a paddle made of monopoles. I did a good job if I say so myself. Her (Radio-Frequency) shrieks could be heard half way to the nearest Star.

Time I got a job with some TIME TRAVEL people: Introduced the custom of spanking to a Neulific Tribe; not easy those Girls literally were Hard-asses it took almost an Hour of Whacking before one of them was decently Spanked.

In my spare time got aquainted with the bare posteriors of Female Malefactors through History.

White asses.

Black Asses.

Indian Asses - High Caste Women above the prospect of Ordinary Punishment.

Red Indian Asses - a warrior Princess of the 11th century.

Eskimo Asses -a shaman's daughter who tried to enchant a European explorer for sex.

Satanistic Witches' Asses.

Cleopatra.

Borge Girls.

Cyborg asses of the 24 century; needed a titanium and diamond crystal restraining framework for this and a wire whip and made an evening of it.

Chinese asses.

Group Mind's asses of the 40th- they tried to outwit the dispised singleton Humans - I had to take a double dose of Amphetamine to properly redden all Dozen of their cute hineys.

Wearing an 5 pound electronic phy blocking helmet to parry the guises and compulsion of a Phy maven, a feisty redhead while tawsing her bum in punishment for leading an attempt to overthrow the Government. I didn't stop until she was redder below the waist than on her head

The time I'm most proud of was when I was part of a team spanking a group of gene-enginnered Uber-Machen in Close Planitary Orbit. Us in skin-tight spacesuits with manoeuver jets. the 18 year old self-styled 'Queens of the Void' bare-ass (literally) to the vacuum. The green haired red eyed pale blue skinned harpies had held the world to ransom through threatening to blast it with the microwave power network they had been bred to run. Wrestling and spanking in free fall while the planet spun beneath us hot sweaty work even with the god-like high the drugs from the same labs that had spawned these Wild Childs giving us for one precarious hour a 10-fold advantage in strength/reflexes over these Tomorrow people. They say we expended a year of lifespan in that punitive exibition. Hell it was a tale to take into old age The stars pining 'round me and my personal spankee augmented strength in my left arm and legs pinioning us in a grip of an avenging god my right hand reaching back and blurring with machine gun rapidity again and again impacting hard muscular buttocks. Applying correction maternal. Smacking the rebellion out of her. Green Hair floating around the pair of us like mist hard bitch flickering like a broken fluorescent with scared child who had got her butt trapped in a fully adult bear-trap.

Heartbreaking Almost. I spanked on as transhuman flesh reached its design limit and became a mass of arse-ache. We got World-wide television hookup no less 86% viewing figures better than the BiannualWorld Orgy. If I say it myself we did a good job. The newspapers the next days had a composite of 30 royal-blue mottled fannies. Headlines SUPERGIRLS GET SUPERSPANKED EVEN CHAMPIONS OF THE LIFEFORCE GET IT IN THE ASS. SOMETIMES.

Illustration commissioned from A. Cohen by Mr. Sherwood especially for this publication.

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