Chicago Spanking Review Forum

Though none of the Fiction House girls could quite match their sister Skygirl, they certainly assumed the position on a regular basis. Let's go see!
Next, let's take a look at the opening panel from Mysta of the Moon in Planet Comics #45: Something's wrong with Mysta's neck, and her hand looks like it belongs a man twice her size, but the most striking thing about this panel is that the robot appears to be staring at Mysta's behind! When I saw this, it made me think of all those old Benny Hill sketches where the sight of a girl bending over would lead to some kind of mishap, like corks popping or sawed-through boards collapsing. This tempted me unwisely to try my hand at altering the scene with Microsoft Paint (my only graphics tool) so it would look like the robot's head was exploding when Mysta unwittingly bends over right in front of him. Yowza! Obviously, I don't have much talent for this sort of thing, so next I simply added a thought balloon in which the robot bemoans the fact he didn't bring his paddle after Mysta of the Moon moons him: Lost opportunities for paddlings galore!

The searches of Dell, DS Publications, and Eastern Color Printing are now complete. Only Dell had any missed opportunities, and they were nothing compared with Fiction House's, but let's see two of them.
First, we have this pretty standard "bend over to get the file" gag. From Burlesque to Benny Hill, this was a longtime standard (here is a Kirk Stiles version in the Humor Gallery, just before a swat lands on target). Unlike the Stiles cartoon, however, there's no spanking here.

Next, we have a fine opportunity that was totally missed: A wild woman in a Jungle Girl costume stubbornly fights to keep a man from saving her life, even biting him! He warns her to knock it off or he'll "wallop the living daylights out of you" which we interpret as a spanking threat, but there's no follow-through - boo-hoo.

With the Harvey search recently completed, it's time once again to reflect on what might have been if the editorial staff (or the writers) were more alert to spanking possibilities.

First up is Hi-School Romances #5, "The Taming of a Tomboy": And how do you tame a tomboy? (All together now). "Spank her, spank her, spank her!" Yet it never happened!

Next we have Hi-School Romances #22. The cover blurb breathlessly informs us, "She knew how to play with fire ... just how to lure and run away ... just how to TEASE!" What she didn't know, but needed to be taught, is that bad girls who flirt (that is, who toy with other people's feelings) deserve a good spanking! Either the guy she's playing with on the cover or the two slack-jawed yokels gossiping in the background should have taught her a lesson - good and hard!

Harvey had some super-heroes before the genre collapsed. Foremost among them was The Black Cat, who somewhat resembles the 70's version of DC's Catwoman but of course came much earlier (in terms of costume design, that is - I think in terms of the characters, Catwoman must have been first). She would have made a fine spankee, even though as we've observed before it's unlikely that a female protagonist would be spanked in her own book.

This story was called, "Water-skis Whipping" - but while it does have water skis, there's no whipping, flogging, birching, strapping, caning, paddling, or spanking. How could they do this to us? We feel cheated! Finally, Black Cat celebrates her birthday. Actually, it's only the sixth anniversary of her book (she herself had first appeared years earlier in other titles) so the birthday cake is only symbolic, but jeez - what an opportunity wasted. Of course, it was only six, but even so ...

I'm in the middle of my search through Hillman Periodicals, and while I did find a good spanking in Airboy (their best-known title), I also found this ideal set-up which they foolishly wasted. Yet another spoiled heiress has
driven her father to despair: "She's so hopelessly spoiled I can't do a single thing with her!" The handsome young Airboy replies, "What does that have to do with me, sir?"

The father should have said, "She needs a good sound spanking and I want you to give it to her!" But there was no spanking in this issue, and predictably the daughter comes to a bad end. It would have been far better for her to get spanked, which might have helped her turn her life around.

web-ed wrote:Because I have compiled seventeen other images, I can't do this topic justice here, so I have created a special Skygirl webpage currently not accessible from the main galleries, with large images that have to be seen to be believed, and of course my own interminable commentary.

Wow! I recently clicked on this link, and your Skygirl page is fantastic! It is a real shame that Skygirl, with such a nicely-rounded backside and a hard-to-explain penchant for bending over all the time, never got a spanking, or even a friendly little pat!! I guess the artist had a love of feminine posteriors, but no interest in spanking... which is almost as bad as someone who draws a spanking cartoon and gives the lady a flat, uninteresting rear! Thank God for cartonists like Dan, who just posted another one of his Spanky Sal strips!

BTW, i never read any of the Skygirl stories. Did she have a boyfriend or some male friend who could have done the honors?

Thanks, b00m - I'm glad you liked the Skygirl page. I had a lot of fun putting it together (for those who haven't seen it yet, I'll be adding a link to it from Comics Gallery 2 as part of the New Year's Eve update).

I don't remember seeing any steady boy friend or male friend for Ginger who could have administered the spanking, but I suppose a guest character could have been brought on for the purpose. And she did get bawled out by her boss at the restaurant a few times, I think, so he could have done the job. Matt Baker, who did at least some of the art, is one of the best-known Good Girl Art (GGA) artists of all time, but as far as I know he didn't do any spanking panels (of course there could still be one lurking out there someplace). What I wouldn't give to see a spanking of Sky Girl or Phantom Lady as rendered by Baker! But sadly, he must not have been into it. [06/15/2011 update: although I had known about a spanking panel in Teen-age Romances #3 when I wrote this, I did not know that the artist was in fact Baker because I hadn't seen it. It was recently posted on the SpankingPanels Forum, and it's definitely fine work by Baker. Still no Phantom Lady or Sky Girl spankings, though.]

It would have been especially easy in Sky Girl's case because she was always getting into some kind of trouble (Phantom Lady would have been fun, too, but as I've pointed out before, it would be unusual for a female protagonist to get spanked in her own book). She could have been punished for work-related violations, or for losing her clothes. If I had been her boyfriend, I'd have had something to say about all the times she bent over right in front of other guys. And the punishment would fit the crime: "Bend over, Ginger, since you seem to be so good at it...!"

I agree with you about flat rears - and the two things that Dan does (and so do you, of course!) that we can always count on are (1) get the OTK positioning right; (2) give the spankee a nice, round, spankable bottom! One of the things I'm looking forward to in the upcoming Humorama series is posting a cartoon of Homer's which features the roundest rear he ever did - and the camera angle is pointing almost directly at it so we have a good view!

With two known spankings of Hedy Wolfe, it makes sense to look for more. However, Patsy Walker was such a popular character for Atlas/Marvel from the 40's to the 60's that I can't imagine how I'm ever going to be able to search through all her appearances. These titles are not in the public domain, so there are presumably very few available scans, and I have neither the time nor the money (I'm flat broke because of the recession) to begin collecting these titles. Frankly, even if I had the cash, I'd feel pretty silly spending, say, $2000.00 just to unearth one or two spankings. This is a question I will take up again once my current Golden Age Comic Spanking Search has been completed.

However, I did get myself a Christmas present this year in the form of a group of low-priced Atlas romance titles, which brings us at long last to the point: while I didn't expect to stumble onto a spanking in these five issues, I did want to understand these romance/humor books a little better to perhaps narrow any future search. Kathy doesn't seem to hold much promise, but Hedy (in the Patsy Walker books) sure does! Her scheming ways and angry Dad seem likely to have led to more spankings than just the two we know about. Let's see two missed opportunities (out of three books!):

First, Hedy buys lots of cereal to enter a contest and (of course) beat out her rival Patsy. (Contests and giveaways requiring the entrant to mail in box tops used to be commonplace, but I think they're no longer allowed by the FTC). Mr. Wolfe is justifiably upset - why didn't he turn Hedy over his knee? I think this is after the two known spankings, so there was precedent.

Next, Hedy does something much worse: she frames Patsy for a misdeed that she herself committed, when all Patsy had been trying to do was lead an effort to buy a present for the teacher, Miss Whiplash. In fact, Miss Whiplash is ready to punish Patsy and asks Hedy for advice on how to do it! Hedy suggests going to Patsy's parents, who will ground her, thus leaving Patsy's boyfriend Buzz for Hedy. If you're having as much trouble following this as I am, it probably means you're not a teen-aged girl, either! Hedy's rotten scheme is exposed as Miss Whiplash realizes she had taken the nice umbrella Patsy had intended to give to her. Busted! Miss Whiplash is ready to go see Hedy's parents, but unfortunately we don't get to see their reactions, or find out what punishment they imposed on Hedy. So many spanking possibilities gone to waste! Miss Whiplash could have paddled poor Patsy, only to give Hedy twice as many swats when she learned the truth (something like Tom and Flashman in Tom Brown's School Days). Or we could simply have witnessed Mr. Wolfe taking the hairbrush to Hedy OTK - he's spanked her for less, after all. To make the scene even better, he could have apologized to Patsy and allowed her to witness her scheming rival get her just desserts!

This isn't exactly a missed opportunity, but it's startling enough to post anyway. It's from Miracle Comics #2 (March 1940), and features another Sheena imitator called Blanda. For the most part, Blanda was pretty unexceptional - we might even say bland - but then I came upon this scene of her stark naked in the jungle! This seems quite unusual given the time (1940) even though the Comics Code Authority (which prohibited nudity, among other things) was still years away. No hint of spanking, though.

Westerns featured mostly male heroes - cowboys and sheriffs and such - so The Black Phantom was an unusual heroine. As we see here, it was difficult for a woman to get the respect of the various tough guys who populated western towns, even if she wore a gun and a mask. The way she was drawn, she'd have been a natural for the spankee role. 01/18/2011 Update: Here's a few more panels from Tim Holt in which there really was a good reason for Black Phantom to get spanked - almost. You see, Tim (as The Red Mask) occasionally teamed up with BP, and in this case, BP's twin sister is trying to fill in for her, but without Tim's knowing about it. She should have warned him, because when it came time for her to fire a gun, here's what happened:
The art isn't bad, and as we mentioned, Black Phantom is quite attractive and spankable. In fact, we really wish that Lee Falk had done this strip - with two double-spankings (including two sisters!) under his belt, he could certainly have managed one more, namely BP and her twin sister! The sister for almost killing him, and BP herself for - well, we're not sure why she deserves to get spanked, but we're sure Falk could have thought of a good reason.

The Archie line-up was pretty solid back in the Golden Age (the company was known as MLJ in the years before Archie's first appearance), and I did find 18 spankings there. Four more are known (two of Katy Keene's sister, whom we'll mention again below, and one each of Betty and Veronica) with another of Veronica suspected (with tennis racquet!), and I would not be surprised if there were still some more undiscovered from the Golden or Silver Ages. On top of that, there were numerous implied spankings (usually X/M, but there are two known with Veronica). Therefore, it seems churlish to complain about the missed opportunities. On the other hand, I have my duty, so let's take a look at how this good publishing house could have been even better...

First, Archie did have some Romance titles, and here we see the first issue of Darling Romance: "I Stole My Sister's Man" - any girl who does that deserves a good spanking - in fact, this sounds like the plot of "I Was A Flirt" in A Moon, A Girl, Romance, which did indeed have a spanking in it. Unfortunately, there was none here.

Next, there was Katy Keene. This title was popular because it had a unique gimmick: girls could send in their fashion designs and artists would draw Katy wearing them. Katy sometimes spanked her younger sister, a relationship that reminds us a little of Fritzi Ritz spanking her niece Nancy. Because this is child spanking, we will not show it here, but this spanking threat will give you the idea: One can't help feeling sorry for the young spankees in these situations, and the thought of seeing the spanker spanked herself has a considerable appeal (see the interview I did with SP Anka for more on this idea). It would have been great if her younger sister could have witnessed Katy Keene being spanked by, say, their father, but as far as I know it never happened.

#3. The previous example came from Ginger, which was another teen humor book. The cover of that issue had a blurb which seems unintentionally humorous by today's standards: "Where There's a Willy There's A Way!" Uh, maybe you guys should rephrase that just a little bit...
Of course, that's not exactly Ginger's fault, so you might think she hasn't done anything to deserve getting spanked, but your conclusion would be premature. Let's take a look at this scene from Zip #40: Here, Ginger sprays her teacher, Dr. Piddle (what a name) with a chemical that makes his pants dissolve. It seems almost like something out of Burlesque, but really, for dissolving his pants, Ginger should have to bend over for Dr. Piddle's paddle!

#4. If that weren't enough, in the very next issue, Ginger bops her principal on the head with a book! I hate to sound like a broken record, but it was time to break out the principal's paddle. Bopping the principal on the head - that's a paddlin'!

#5. Back to Zip #40 for a minute: there was a super-hero in the book known as Steel Sterling. With art by Irv Novick, I consider this the best-drawn feature in the book. Unfortunately, whoever was writing the strip really blew it in this story where Steel goes to rescue some men from a tribe of Amazons. To the learned and discerning readers of this forum, I need hardly point out that there's only one way to really tame a wild Amazon. Let's see just how agonizingly close we came: Steel finds himself fighting the Amazon Queen herself, and some guy tells him, "You've got to teach Miverna a lesson!" Steel seems convinced: "Maybe you're right." Steel rolls up his sleeve and says, "This will hurt me more than it will you." Surely a spanking must follow! And then - he hauls off and belts her! ARGHHH! Was he taking lessons from Bulletman or Captain Marvel Jr., neither of whom ever seemed to understand the basics of girl-spanking, no matter how called-for it was?

#6. Several times in the comics, attempted murder of a hero has led to a villainess getting spanked (Spirit / Diana, Saint / El Kara, etc.). Here a bad girl tries to stab our hero (I've forgotten his name), but does she get spanked? No - he just takes her knife away. The next time this happens to me, I'm going to give my female assailant a spanking!

#7. O.K., you want to talk about bad girls? Here's Madame Satan, from PEP Comics #18: Some outfit, by the way! Would it have been asking too much to have a Heaven-sent angel appear long enough to take Madame Satan over his knee? Maybe if she had received corporal punishment, her series would have been more popular (it sure as hell - if you'll pardon the expression - would have been with us!). As it was, she was shortly replaced in PEP by a new character, a teenager with red hair named Archie Andrews.

#8. Finally, there was Suzie. Suzie got into trouble seemingly every episode of her strip, which appeared in various places. Following in the footsteps of Bill Ward's Torchy, Suzie got fired from her job in almost every episode - couldn't some of these employers have just given her a spanking instead? Here's a few examples: Why the kid punches her instead of spanking her (as happened the other time she tried being a governess in PEP #59) is beyond me.

Back to school - the kids put a thumbtack on Suzie's chair. Nice bunch. Somebody should have gotten spanked here for sure. Although we would have preferred to see her get spanked, we have to agree with the boy who shoots her in the fanny with his slingshot: "Boy, what a target!" Indeed, and of course Suzie did get spanked that one time. A number of issues of her own book, Suzie, are still unavailable, so perhaps she got spanked a second time. At least we can hope. I should also mention that she seemed to imitate Skygirl on occasion, repeatedly bending over for no good reason. I will prepare a page of these amusing panels just as I did with Skygirl.

Prize Comics didn't feature enough spankings (we admit we're a little demanding on that score), so as usual let's bitch and moan by pointing out where they could have done better.

Let's start with Black Magic #38 (May-June 1958), whose antecedents were clearly the Horror/Suspense titles that were so popular in the early 50's. This title appears to have survived the massacre that occurred after the Comics Code was implemented and distributors were failing (c. 1955-56), perhaps because it was less extreme than many other books (even the words "terror" and "horror" were forbidden by the Code, which killed popular EC titles like The Vault of Horror. Nice art by Joe Orlando, who drew no known spankings but did give us Dumb Bunny in some nice spankable poses in early stories of the Inferior Five . (A great pity, since an Orlando spanking would have been a good one!)
"I told you time and time again - stay away from that mirror!" lectures the boyfriend as his girl is getting sucked into what is presumably another dimension. He's losing her (literally), so obviously, he was unfamiliar with the Chicago Spanking Review protocol for hanging on to your girlfriend:

Step 1: explain once to your girlfriend why something is too dangerous for her and she mustn't do it;
Step 2: If she fails to heed your warning, administer a stern lecture on why what she did was wrong (very important), then SPANK HER to drive the point home!

If our young man had only done that, he wouldn't now be watching his girl disappear through some weird portal. Of course, he could have put this dangerous, life-threatening mirror in the attic where no one could get to it, but that's not as good a solution because I can't see how it could have led to a spanking!

Next, let's switch to romance comics, which became enormously popular in the 50's and featured a number of spankings. Here we see a story called "My Sister's Sweetheart" from Young Romance #69. I must admit there's nothing really blatant on this page, but I still think the younger sister, Jill, could have benefited from a little OTK discipline now and then. I wanted to post it because of the obvious boo-boo - Harold, speaking to Jill in panel 2, addresses her as "Sue" (her older sister's name) by mistake! Also, this artwork reminds me very much of John Romita Sr. who of course later found fame as Marvel's Art Director and as the artist who took over The Amazing Spider-Man after Steve Ditko left the strip.

Could it be Romita? He had been happy at Atlas (Marvel), but by 1954 Atlas was hanging on by a thread and it was around this time that he was forced to switch over to DC where he spent years doing romance comics (which he hated, by the way). It seems quite possible, then, that Romita found some work at Prize Comics (possibly through Joe Simon and Jack Kirby) just before, during, or even after he transitioned over to DC. I've spent this much time on the question because I like Romita's art very much, and think he's somewhat underrated by comics critics.

In any case, the next issue of Young Romance did have a M/F spanking, although not a very good one, and it will be added to Comics Gallery 2 in due course.

Now let's move on to the Crime genre, so loathed by Fredric Wertham (to him, everything was a "crime comic"). Artistically, I don't care for the genre either, because it's emotionally tiring to spend so much time around utterly worthless characters. This may be why I never liked television crime shows like The Untouchables or more recently, The Sopranos either. Unlike Wertham, however, I don't believe that they corrupted America's youth - my big complaint is that despite their popularity (before being wiped out by the Comics Code), they had zero (known) spankings! [No longer true - I found one after this was posted.] And there was no excuse for this, because they featured plenty of bad girls who needed some strict punishment. Here's an example, from Headline Comics #26: Bad girls who stick guns in people's ribs (and smoke cigarettes, too - tsk, tsk!) deserve a sound spanking!

Up to now, I may have been stretching the definition of "missed opportunities" just a little, if by that we mean situations where obviously spanking was the only way to go and yet the story followed a different path. But this time, spanking really was the only way to go! Once again, we have that old staple, the arrogant queen (who in this case has even usurped the throne). Yet when confronted by our hero, all he does is grab her and hold her in a pose which immediately suggest the OTK position! Yes, they really missed the boat here in Price Comics #3 (May 1940): O.K., I've complained enough for one day. Until next time...

The Phantom would have known how to handle Queen Wodo! Imagine how much a spanking would have stung on that tightfitting shorts-like costume she is wearing.
She'd have trouble sitting down on the throne she usurped, real poetic justice.
Spanking, whether its involves scheming femme fatales,spoiled brats, female criminals,arrogant nobility and high society ladies or reckless superheroines, is always the proper way to dish out just desserts.

yes such a pity that there are so many females placed in the right costume, position and circumstances that a good otk spanking would just be called for or even expected from the audience and was not delivered. Great finds and commentary as always web-ed. Thanks again for your time and commitment to CSR from a grateful fan. Have a great day.
Jim

Star Publications has two known spankings, both from Popular Teen-Agers and both already posted in Comics Gallery 2 (here and here). My recent search through its available books revealed no new spankings, but I did uncover an unbelievable treasure-trove of sexual references. Some of these also represent missed spanking opportunities, so let's begin with one of them, from Popular Teen-Agers #5 (September 1950, 5 issues prior to the first spanking): No spanking here, but the title, "The Brat Race", certainly suggested potential. Also suggestive are the names of two characters we see on this page, the eponymous Toni Gay (whose name was changed from Toni Gayle) and her boyfriend, Butch Dykeman. We're going to see some more of these two, and any doubt that these names were chosen innocently will be removed, but first let's detour and take a quick look at another jungle scene: No spanking, alas, but get a load of these outfits - if Rulah's standard White Goddess bikini isn't titillating enough for you, the other girl is wearing an open vest with no bra! A little suggestive for the day, although no one complained (except maybe Fredric Wertham).

Now let's meet Honey Bunn, whose last name is a fanny-reference or my name isn't Web-Ed. Like Toni, Honey went through a name change during her time at Star, in fact two of them, from Ginger Snapp to Ginger Bunn to Honey Bunn.
Here she is in the same issue that gave us "The Brat Race", Popular Teen-Agers #5: Now, Honey seems to have had some, er, interests that lead me to believe she needed to get some counseling post-haste; namely, compensating for her penis envy, dressing up like a boy, hanging around in the boys' locker room, and even dressing and showering there where someone was bound to notice her! Let's gratify her exhibitionistic tendencies by taking a look at School-Day Romances #4: The writer here seems to have read too much Sigmund Freud. I never believed in penis envy myself, but Honey sure seems to be trying to compensate for not having one. I'm not sure what to make of her jabbing Lefty in the behind with that spear, or maybe I just don't want to know. By the way, Honey, you've got your thing pointed the wrong way.


The next time we see Honey, she's "disguising" herself as a boy so she can join the football team: Don't know how to break this to you, Honey, but your "disguise" isn't going to fool anyone. And she's drawn with her arms behind her head, which thrusts her maidenly bosom out provocatively - does she really think she's going to get away with this masquerade?

After practice, she heads for the locker room and undresses, telling herself she can get showered before the rest of the team arrives and catches her in the buff. This is so clearly a case of self-delusion and repressed exhibitionism that it isn't even funny - or maybe it is. When the coach enters the locker room to discuss a new play with "Gordon", Honey quickly dons her uniform and heads back into the shower. The coach is a little suspicious, but seems to buy her incredible excuse that she catches cold easily. Coach apparently needed some training in how to recognize the signs of a deeply disturbed student and when to call in the counseling department. By the way, the "HIS" monogram on the towel was an interesting touch - back in my day, we didn't need "HIS" and "HERS" monograms on our towels because we actually dressed in a different locker room than the girls! I guess we were just behind the times.


When spring came around, Honey traded in her football jersey for - no, not ballet slippers - baseball cleats! And of course, she changes right in the boys locker room again. This time, some rude Rodney kicks her in the behind - of course a full initiation (with paddles) would have been preferable. Did all those guys really not notice a girl changing clothes right in front of them, or were they just pretending not to notice?

Believe it or not, things go downhill from there. On the baseball diamond, Honey needs to borrow a bat when it's her turn at the plate: At least she didn't say, "Anyone got wood?" And if you're not convinced this was pure innuendo, take a look at the next panel: O.K., there's at least 10 guys there with their "bats" erect - no way this was not intended as a sexual reference - no way!


But wait - there's still more to come in this same issue (Popular Teen-Agers #6)! You remember our old pals, Toni Gay and Butch Dykeman? Let's take a look at them as they try to improve their posture (!?) by taking up horseback riding: I'm not going into the plot, but as you can see there were a lot of confused goings-on, and both of their fathers seem to be threatening them with spankings. In the last two panels, they appear to be rubbing sore bottoms - is this from spending too much time in the saddle or did their dads carry out their spanking threats?

You may have wondered why Toni and Butch were trying to improve their posture. Here's why - at their schools, the Venus School of Modeling and the Adonis School of Dramatic Arts, their joint Gym teacher said they needed to improve their posture. Of course, he phrased it a little differently: "Straighten up, Miss Gay! Straighten up, Dykeman!" No way this is innocent - NO WAY! Especially when you remember that Toni's name used to be "Gayle" before someone changed it and Dykeman's first name is "Butch". [Postscript: after I found this, I realized I'd seen it somewhere before. Turns out that was on superdickery.com, for anyone who may be interested.]

I can't resist enlarging (sorry!) one panel: This is my new all-time favorite line of dialogue in a comic-book: "Straighten up, Dykeman!"

Now let's see how well Coach's admonition took hold. From the very next issue of Popular Teen-Agers: When Toni remarks on how handsome the instructor, Mr. Kirkland, is Butch responds, "Frankly, he doesn't register on my meter." I guess Mr. Kirkland just isn't Butch's type - apparently he prefers tall, blond guys.

Several thoughts now cross my mind. First, we're lucky the letterer didn't succumb to temptation and change one letter so the word balloon read "peter" instead of "meter". Second, it doesn't seem that our friend Butch paid too much attention to what Coach told him in the previous issue. Third, Toni better not count on Butch if she wants to have children.


I think you'll have to agree that Star Publications bears looking into further. Even with the issues seen here and the two spanking ones, less than half the issues of Popular Teen-Agers are available, and right now I think I'd swap my entire Claremont-Byrne run of X-Men (which I never really liked anyway) for the complete run of this title. It won't be easy to find any of the missing issues, or of the other titles in the line, but there's no doubt that it's worth making the attempt.

"Straighten up, Dykeman!"

Plenty of bad girls in St. John Publications, yet none of them got spanked (actually, one of them probably did, but not among the available pages). Let's begin with a real show-off: It's not that I don't like bikinis, but I really don't think they're appropriate attire for downhill skiing. Amazingly, no one in this story remarked on that fact! A girl who dresses like this is just too fond of showing her body off, and deserves a good spanking! Of course, she's in danger of frostbite as well, and I know just how to warm her up...

Let's all go to a party... "No one knew what these fast-living, thrill-seeking teenagers were doing...!" the cover blurb breathlessly informs us. So what exactly were they doing? Well, I see two couples talking, one dancing, and one rather chaste-looking kiss. No sex, drugs, or booze anywhere - that's fast living? The girl in the orange skirt does deserve a spanking though, for throwing her guests' coats over the bannister, which looks sloppy.

O.K., this next girl really does need some correction: Turning her school letter into a "$" does make her look just a little cheap, and in an era when Cole Porter's song "Love For Sale" still generated controversy, there's only one way to deal with her...

Our next title seemed promising ... ... but it's not that kind of bondage. Same thing as with Somerset Maugham's great novel Of Human Bondage - the bondage is figurative, not literal. Of course, with our luck, if they had put some real bondage in this issue, they'd probably have left out the spanking anyway, and for us, bondage without spanking is like bacon without eggs, or something like that.

Canteen Kate often featured Matt Baker's art, and may have been created by Baker since Kate is reminiscent of his Sky Girl. It did provide some welcome relief in the middle of the intense war scenes in Fighting Marines, but it didn't have any spankings or even as many "assume the position" poses as did Sky Girl. I did find this one, which I feel duty-bound to share with you now: Finally, let's "Meet Miss Pepper". She almost gets spanked here, but not quite. She does take a nice slapstick whack on the butt, though: Miss Pepper is unwise enough to bend over, but the firm whack she receives will remind her to be more careful next time.

Miss Pepper is a pretty school teacher. In our last example, she has wrongly punished two boys in her class by making them write lines on the blackboard. She feels terribly guilty and offers to make amends. The boys feel she should receive the same punishment that she wrongfully inflicted upon them, which seems fair: Of course, if I'd been scripting this issue, it would have gone a little differently. She would have inflicted corporal punishment on the students, which means that after she discovered her mistake, there would be only one way to make up for it: "You'll get three swats from each of us, Miss Pepper. Bend over, please, and grip the edge of the desk. Look straight ahead..."

Let's start with Story. Bottoms Up would seem a promising title, but then this is a horror comic... I don't think I'm even going to waste any more time searching through these. I've always detested Horror comics, and no spankings have ever been found in them. It just wouldn't fit in well with what these stories are trying to accomplish (and whatever that is, it isn't good).

Another promising title turned up in Toby-Minoan's Monty Hall of the Marines - "The Swat Parade". Now, that's more like it! It's a war comic, and there have been two good spankings in this genre. Furthermore, this title has some pin-up girls in every issue - let's take a peek: To me, "The Swat Parade" suggest a paddle-line being formed, perhaps for Floretta. But there were no spankings, so even after reading the story I have no idea what that title was supposed to mean.

Let's switch from tanks to horses and take a look at Lariat Lucy, from Western Drime-Busters #10 (Trojan Publishing). "Flaming Justice" it says. Would it be too much to ask that some of that "flaming justice" be applied to Lucy's backside? Apparently it would, for there was no hint of a spanking here, pardnuh.

More from Trojan: this time, it's Dan Turner, Hollywood Detective from Crime-Smashers #2. I don't like whips at all, because they're inaccurate and severe, but if you're going to show one in use, and the "spankee's" bottom is turned up anyway, why not apply it where it will do the most good? Another missed opportunity. That Jimmy Olsen wannabe running into the scene would probably have messed things up, anyway.

Three times we've seen a bad girl throw a knife at a hero, and each time she's gotten spanked for it, as well she should. So what's the problem with Fight Comics #36? Captain Wimpo there just shoves the knife-thrower aside and never gets around to spanking her. How will she ever learn proper manners that way? Lastly, we come to perhaps the biggest missed opportunity ever. This is the cover of Fox's My Love Life #12. Look at these story titles: "I Asked for Trouble" (my answer is spanking) and "I Was An Untamed Filly" (I know exactly how to tame you, my dear). If that weren't enough, look at that brat sashaying her hips, just daring us to spank her! "Sure, I'm a flirt. So what?" She's just begging for a spanking - in fact, she's actually daring us to spank her. Well, we dare, all right, but that lazy, good-for-nothing couch potato there apparently couldn't be bothered. Somebody really should rewrite this issue. Bring back Romance Comics (with spankings in them)!

hi web-ed,

these and others like them seemed for a long time to be the story of my life. i can remember getting all fired up watching an old movie when a spanking was obviously needed or when one seemed imminent only to get let down when none happened..................sigh. those last 2 were really frustrating . what is the matter with those people........................especially with titles like that last one................geez! thanks for posting these, phil

With my search almost completed, I found no spankings in Canadian comics, which flourished briefly during World War II, but they had a few missed opportunities.

First up: this scene from Grand Slam #54, which takes place in a south seas school house. The schoolmarm is wearing a bra and a grass skirt, a good outfit in which to receive school corporal punishment (or even administer it to that good-looking girl in the front row), but alas there was none. Next we have My Secret Marriage #8. This Good Time Gal is in love with herself, doesn't help her sister around the house, and jerks her boyfriend around: He even says that she's a spoiled brat: But he was all talk and no action - a classic wasted opportunity. This is exactly the kind of plot that has led to a spanking in other comics.

Lastly, from My Secret Story #27. A girl has lost her way (we forget the details) and wound up in trouble with the law. The judge sees that she's not really a bad girl, and he doesn't want to send her to prison with hardened criminals, so what can he do? Here's my slightly altered version to indicate the sentence I would impose if I were that judge:

Properly speaking, this post does not belong here, because it is neither a spanking threat nor a missed opportunity. It probably belongs on superdickery.com (maybe I'll forward it over there). But with the end of the Great Golden Age Search drawing near, I'm in the mood for some spring cleaning, and what I most want to clean out is the remaining M/M junk from my files! Four spankings will be posted on April Fool's Day, two more still need to be inserted into the Comics Spanking Data Base, and then there's this bizarre little item, taken from Fawcett's Wow Comics #41 (February 1946).

Ever since the days of Fredric Wertham, superheroes with teen-age sidekicks have been suspected of being gay. Of course, if you're a grown man palling around with a teen-age boy, you can take steps to mitigate these nasty suspicions. For one thing, do not do this:
This story was called "Dance Marathon of Death" and Mr. Scarlet dancing with Pinky was intended symbolically by the artist and writer, whoever they were. However, this kind of symbolism could easily be mistaken to have another meaning when your characters are called "Mr. Scarlet" and "Pinky", and the two together referred to as "The Crimson Crusaders"! Something a little less, well, flaming, would have helped.

How could these guys not know the implications?

O.K., let's finish up our spring cleaning with some M/F stuff! When a girl can't seem to obey a "No Hunting" sign, what would you do? If you answered "spank her" you're absolutely correct. Why this guy didn't is beyond me.

Next comes one of the worst examples of a blown opportunity ever. The story's title is actually "Spoiled Brat"! I mean, how could they waste a chance like this? It's hard to believe, but it got even worse as our brat throws a temper tantrum and strikes the guy with a tree branch: There was only one thing to do: take out your pocket knife, cut this branch down into a switch, and then apply it where it was obviously needed! But El Wimpo here doesn't do that; somehow the brat gets tamed by the story's end anyway, but I don't really believe it.