We have discussed the concept of the Transformative Event (TE) at great length, and shown how it creates the Natural Spanko female submissive. But what about the Natural Spanko male dominant? We could explain the male dominant quite easily if, during childhood, boys commonly spanked their mothers; everything we said about the TE regarding female submissives would immediately apply mutatis mutandis to the creation of the male dominant. The boy would grow up expecting to spank women just as he had spanked his mother. The problem is of course that it's the other way around - mothers and certain other adult women spank boys - and that immediately tips us off that the process by which Natural Spanko dominant males are created must be more complicated than the process that results in submissive females. Let us try to understand this process by following it from the beginning.
What Happens When Women Spank Boys?
Much of what was said regarding the effects of the TE on girls being spanked by their fathers applies to boys being spanked by their mothers, but there is a crucial difference: boys are not naturally submissive as girls are, so being spanked is not accepted passively but rather causes feelings of resentment to arise and coexist with any pangs of guilt that might be present. Let us summarize as we did in the case of the female:
- Because the boy, just like the girl, probably learned to differentiate male from female (see Chapter 2) by studying his parents, his mother becomes a sort of model for what he expects a woman to be. Thus, at some level he learns to expect that females give spankings.
- Being forced to submit to a spanking creates a conflict in the boy since, as noted above, boys are naturally dominant, and this conflict may be expected to continue as the boy matures and becomes even more dominant, assuming this normal development takes place. It is the resentment that naturally arises which is responsible for the boy's desire to spank women. These feelings probably exist mainly in the subconscious, but if we were to attempt to put them into words we would likely come up with something like this: "When I am grown it is I who will do the spanking." I believe this is a more generalized desire to spank women that is not felt solely towards the mother as a sort of variant on Freud's Oedipus complex, but it is nonetheless true that on some level the boy probably does desire to spank his mother out of resentment for having been spanked by her. Notice that this is entirely different from the case of the father/daughter spanking, where the young female largely or completely accepts the rightful authority of her father to adminster the spanking.
- Spanking is witnessed instead of experienced (1, M/F) - if the boy sees his sister being spanked by their father, he will naturally identify with the father. This could cause him to become dominant but would not lead to the submissive or switch orientations.
- Spanking is witnessed instead of experienced (2, F/M) - if the boy witnesses another boy being spanked by a woman, presumably he identifies with the boy spankee. This would likely create the same emotional conditions that would arise if he were the spankee himself, but perhaps at a slightly less intense level.
Because it reverses the normal male dominant/female submissive roles, the mother/son spanking is therefore more damaging psychologically than the father/daughter spanking, and what happens to the boy as he matures therefore depends on how much damage the TE did as well as other factors such as the essntial makeup of the boy's personality and the presence or absence of secondary TE's. (This is why, in other articles and on the CSR Forum, I have occasionally said that it would be healthier if boys spanked their mothers rather than the other way around.) We consider the three possible cases:
Case 1: The boy develops normally, becoming fully dominant by the beginning of adulthood - this results in the creation of the Natural Spanko male dominant. If this case arises at all from a direct spanking experience (as is likely), it means the boy was able to overcome some but not all of the damage the TE originally inflicted upon him. In particular, he does not have a desire to re-create the TE. The other obvious way that this case could arise is from the spanking being witnessed (1, M/F above) with the boy identifying with the male spanker.
If anyone is unsure that normal male development includes increasingly dominant behavior, there is a clearly analogous development taking place at the same time in which the boy begins to move from identification with mother to identification with father. This probably begins very early in the mind's development, perhaps not long after the concept of two different sexes is understood by the child. Once he understands that he and his father are both male, he should naturally begin to identify more with his father and gradually develop more masculine traits. One easy proof of this theory may be found in abnormal behavior when the boy, for whatever reason, does not transfer his identification to his father or other male figure (suppose, e.g., that the father is absent at a critical stage of development). The result is the transvestite, a man who dresses as a woman (because he still identifies with mother). We observe two significant facts: the transvestite is rarely homosexual, which is very roughly analagous to the small percentage of male submissives (i.e. in that by achieving heterosexuality the transvestite has at least partially overcome what might otherwise be a completely arrested development), and reverse transvestism, in which women dress as men is comparatively much more rare, the reason being that females do not need to transfer identification from one parent to the other - they begin by identifying with mother (as males do also because the female is the primary infant caregiver) and never transfer identification to the father. This supports the idea mentioned above that the development of the male dominant given a F/M TE must be more complcated than that of the submissive female given a M/F TE.
Case 2: The boy manages to become dominant at maturity, but the damage caused by the TE was great enough that he still desires to re-create certain elements of it (as was explained in Chapter 3). This results in the creation of the Natural Spanko male switch. The strongest evidence in favor of this interpretation is the sheer number of male switches in the scene (the usual estimate is 50% or even more of all spanko men), for it is extremely common for boys to be spanked by their mothers (or even other women) and the nature of the TE itself makes it difficult for the boy to escape any part of it. Also, secondary TE's such as being spanked by a female teacher could certainly contribute to forming this case. Since it is impossible to be dominant and "submissive" at the same time, the switch experiences an internal conflict, and in fact I believe his "submission" is not really genuine but simply the need to re-create the original F/M TE. This is discussed in more detail below in "Further Differences Between Male and Female Behavior".
Case 3: The boy fails to develop normally. This means the effects of the TE were so severe (possibly reinforced by secondary TE's such as being paddled or caned by a female teacher in school as was mentioned in reference to Case 2 above) that part of the sexual personality became completely arrested, resulting in the Natural Spanko male submissive. This case is relatively rare (based on what I have observed at spanking parties), but it most certainly does exist. I have noticed that these men tend to be rather quiet and unassuming types.
We see then that all three spanking orientations can develop in the male from essentially the same cause, namely a TE of the F/M orientation (with the one exceptional case of the witnessed M/F TE). This is entirely different from the case of the submissive female (see Chapter 3). Two unanswered questions are whether the witnessed M/F TE always produces dominants and the F/M TE (witnessed or direct) always produces switches. (My guess is that the answer to the first question is "yes" and to the second question, "no").
The Effect of Secondary TE's
We defined the Secondary TE in the preceding chapter and gave examples, some of which were applicable to both males and females. Let us mention some likely Secondary TE's as they apply to boys specifically:
- Continued maternal spankings: These would have the effect of reinforcing the Primary TE.
- School Corporal Punishment: this was discussed in the preceding chapter. Here we are concerned only with such punishment being inflicted by a female teacher, which is certainly possible. We repeat our observation that an adult desire for certain spanking positions and implements may arise from these experiences [see once again Martin's story.] But one difference should be noted: if the boy becomes dominant, he may well develop fantasies of administering corporal punishment to the teacher. This does not occur with female student spankees, and arises from the same resentment at being spanked that was described above in reference to maternal spankings.
- Spanking administered by a non-parental authority figure: School corporal punishment obviously falls into this category, but the boy might also be spanked by an aunt, older sister, babysitter, or neighbor. Anything about such an incident that the spankee finds memorable or exciting would obviously affect future adult spanking desires.
- Disciplinary spanking given to girlfriend during the teen-age years: this would obviously function as straight reinforcement of the primary TE (if the TE was a witnessed M/F) or of the boy's counter-response to a F/M TE, now in a nearly-adult context. This would actually be a very healthy occurrence for it would help the boy achieve successful sexual dominance, essential for psychological health during adulthood.
- Disciplinary spanking given by girlfriend during the teen-age years: this is the exact opposite of the previous Secondary TE and is very unhealthy, for it reinforces the most damaging part of the F/M primary TE, namely the F/M orientation, and in a sexual or quasi-sexual situation. Something like this could very easily be the "last straw" that produces an adult male submissive. One imagines this experience occurs only rarely due to the small number of dominant females.
Summary of the Different Effects of the TE on the Male
Figure 4.01 - 4.04 - the three possible male orientations (Natural spanko) and the four possible types of TE's responsible for them
Further Differences Between Male and Female Behavior
We mentioned in Chapter 3 that women are considerably less confident of and more embarrassed by their sexual desires than men, and that one consequence of this is that most women have a need to have some disciplinary feel to a spanking. Men by contrast are far more likely to act on their desires, and this is true even of male subs and switches. Let us examine some of the consequences of this difference between male and female.
First, men are much less likely to be held back by fear and will take many more risks in order to satisfy their spanking desires. This is already apparent during adolescence. Several women have admitted to me that when they were in school (one that practiced corporal punishment), they fantasized about getting paddled by a good-looking male teacher; however, they did not have the nerve to actually try to provoke a paddling through deliberate misbehavior. By contrast, boys have been known on numerous occasions to try to provoke a paddling from a female teacher. In adulthood, switch/sub men see professional dominatrices to be spanked; this is very rare with adult women. I personally have been contacted many times by women interested in getting spanked, but a considerable percentage of them are simply too afraid to follow through (note that making an appointment to get spanked is more anxiety-inducing than simply inquiring about such a session). In short, desire is stronger than fear in the male, and of course male dominants will definitely attempt to spank any female if it appears they can get away with it.
Second, discipline is of less concern to male switches/subs. Presumably this is because they have less need to feel that it is "all right" for them to be spanked, but it may also be caused by the typical male carrying around less residual guilt than the typical female. Nonetheless, the discipline factor does exist, and is supplemented by other rationalizations which serve to re-create the element of compulsion in the original F/M TE, for instance "gambling" fantasies in which the loser of some game gets spanked (this would have an obvious appeal to the switch especially).
A third factor is what we will designate as the Transformation of Sadism (TS - that is, the transformation of sadism into masochism). Sigmund Freud in examining masochism and following in Richard Krafft-Ebing's footsteps (see Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality and The Economic Problem of Masochism), wrote that “masochism is [often] nothing more than an extension of sadism turned round upon the subject’s own self, which… takes the place of the sexual object.” He further developed this idea in Instincts and Their Vicissitudes. However, I don't believe Freud ever truly understood masochism, and in fact he seemed to lose his way the further he went into the subject, possibly because he started moving in the wrong direction near the beginning of his study. Nonetheless, I do agree with him about one thing: he viewed true masochism as basically female, and thought that male masochists were simultaneously taking on the roles of both sadist and masochist, so that male masochism is a transformation of (male) sadism. I suspect that the TS results from the pressure of the internal conflict mentioned before; that is, it is an attempt to reconcile the two conflicting sides of the sexual personality (dominant and "submissive") by merging them into a single desire in which the male is active and passive at the same time. This is consistent with my idea that in the switch, the normal male sexual personality developed in its dominant character despite the remains of the damage to the proto-sexual psyche by the original F/M TE.
If this is so, then we should expect to see masochistic desires very similar to the sadistic desires of the same (male) individual, at least in the only spanking orientation for which this discussion makes any sense, that is, the Natural Spanko male switch. Unfortunately, my opportunities to investigate this question are few; as a Natural male dominant I am limited to reading the written accounts of male switches and the conversations I try to have with them at spanking parties. Nontheless, there does seem to be some evidence supporting this theory, as for example with the male switch desiring to use the same implement and/or position in either role. This is one area that could use further research. We should also expect to see more male switches than female ones, and as this is exactly what is observed provides strong evidence in favor of both Freud's theory and of my own (that the TS is a factor in creating the male switch).
Having established back in Chapter 1 that males are naturally dominant and females naturally submissive, and having further discussed above the TS by which male "Topping" can be turned into male "Bottoming" (or submission as we have consistently referred to it), and since all male Switches/Subs are attempting to re-create the orientation of the original F/M TE, we must certainly question the existence of true male submission at all. Male submission in the sexual sense could serve no biological function since it could not lead to reproduction. Now it may be suggested that that the TE creates a permanment sort of "polarity reversal" in which the male is changed from dominant to submissive, at least in the pure Submissive case (the idea is plainly untenable with Switches because of the Dominant side), but my own view is that such a change is not possible because male dominance (unlike the spanking paraphilia) is almost certainly hard-wired into the brain even though it clearly undergoes further development during adolescence. As for the pure Submissive, my belief is that this represents a case of arrested sexual development at an infantile level which prevents that normal development from taking place, in contrast to female submission which of course continues to develop as the girl reaches maturity. I will suggest then that male "submission" is not a true (sexual) submission just as Freud maintained that male masochism was not true masochism. Nonetheless, it will in most cases be perceived as submission by the female, with significant consequences that we will consider at a later time.
Finally, there is one other possible origin of the male switch which should be considered, namely, a Natural male submissive who learns to become somewhat dominant with a submissive female. Notice that this is different from the fully Natural Spanko male switch in which both roles are created due to one or more TE's; the submissive half is Natural and the dominant half is Learned. I believe such switches must be very rare, but given the wide range of human behavior and sexual experimentation there is a very good chance that this type of switch does exist.
Are There Classes of Male Spankers and Spankees?
In Chapter 3 we divided female spankees into five classes for convenient study. Can we similarly divide male dominants, subs, or switches? Theory suggest that we probably could - for example, the complement of the female submissive we classified as The Penitent would be the male dominant we might call The Disciplinarian - but if the primary and secondary TE's that apply to the male are well understood there seems little pedagogical value in doing so. The male sub presents other problems, and rather than trying to subdivide this orientation into classes, it would be better to keep in mind that this type is always trying to re-create the primary or secondary TE either literally or emotionally. If literally, then he may desire to act out the fantasy of being spanked by teacher, for example; if emotionally, then he may wish for some rationalized compelling reason to accept corporal punishment or to re-experience the humiliation that was at the core of the original spanking (notice that the first of these at least is found in the female submissive also, but is probably stronger there). As for sensualists, this appears to be something with an appeal to women but not men, so I will not designate a sensualist class among men.
What about male dominants and switches? There may very likely be some desire to re-create the original defiant response to being spanked (F/M TE), but as this is usually not remembered in the conscious mind it's hard to see what form such a desire would take unless subjected to some further forces (see Spanking Embellishments below). The desire to re-create the original M/F TE (witnessed) would take an equally-unpredictable form. Therefore, for now at least we will not attempt to classify male doms and switches, but obviously there will be many individual differences.
Another factor that comes into play is what we might call Spanking Embellishments, that is facets of the spanking fantasy that did not come directly from the TE, at least not in any obvious manner. Although this concept is relevant here, we will postpone our discussion of it until after we have tackled what are perhaps the most difficult orientations to understand, the natural spanko female dominant and the female switch, which we do next in Chapter 5. Spanking Embellishments will be the subject of Chapter 6.
Summary
- Natural Spanko males like Natural Spanko females arise from a Transformative Event (TE).
- As with females, the TE may be either experienced or witnessed.
- Unlike females, the experienced TE (F/M) runs opposite to the (dominant) inclinations of the male producing a dominant, switchable, or submissive adult depending on various psychological factors. Thus the process by which male spankos are created is often more complicated than the one responsible for female spankos due to the nature of the initial TE in which the boy is spanked by a woman. The simplest case for males is the witnessed M/F TE.
- The F/M TE explains the fact that a greater portion of male than female spankos are switchable. (Remembering the fact that girls spanked by their fathers do not strongly resent being subjugated as boys spanked by their mothers do).
- Although beyond the scope of this article, should it be found that psycho-sexual disorders are more commmon among males than females, the greater complexity of the male sexual development as outlined here would be the most likely cause.
- The Transformation of Sadism (TS) is another complication we find with males but not females. It is the process of changing "sadism" into "masochism" (here dominance into submission) which is believed to play a role in explaining the male switch.
- Male "submission" probably does not actually exist in the fully sexual usage of the term the way female submission certainly does.
