Chicago Spanking Review

Lois Lane Spanks Super-Tot #4

---> Comics Gallery 2

Cover of Superman #140. Note that "ton" is spelled backwards and that the weight is 3000 instead of 2000 lbs. Art by Curt Swan and Stan Kaye.   © DC Comics Inc.

One of the odder features of the Superman Family during the Weisinger years were the tales of the Bizarro World. The first Bizarro was an imperfect duplicate of Superboy, and his story was one of pathos. The idea was later extended, this time with humorous intent, to create an imperfect duplicate of Superman (Bizarro No. 1), who in turn created other duplicates of himself and of Lois Lane. Bizarros don't think normally and do everything exactly the opposite of the way it is done on earth, but in spite of being imperfect duplicates the males have all of Superman's super-powers. Those too young to remember Bizarro's misadventures during the Silver Age of Comics may recall that Seinfeld episode (Jerry being a Superman fan) where Elaine encounters Bizarro versions of Jerry, George, and Kramer; this trio is intelligent, studious, hard-working, etc. - in short, the exact opposite of the originals!

In this book-length story, "The Son of Bizarro", taken from Superman #140 (October 1960), Bizarro Jr. is born! We're not sure how that happened since technically the Bizarros are not made of living tissue, but leaving aside the question of the bizarro birds and bees, Bizarro No. 1 and his wife Bizarro-Lois No. 1 are faced with a problem when Junior comes out looking ugly (i.e., normal).

Actually, Bizarro-Lois has other problems, for Bizarro Junior has super-powers while she, of course, does not. That leads us to the following scene where (you guessed it) she hurts her hand trying to spank him! Now, Bizarros are considered mentally defective, so what does it say about the original Lois Lane that she makes (repeatedly) the same silly mistake that Bizarro-Lois does here? Even Bizarro No. 1 knows better than to try to spank Junior!

When you think about it, eating the bowl should have been considered good behavior by Bizarro standards. Script by Otto Binder, art by Wayne Boring and Stan Kaye.   © DC Comics Inc.

© DC Comics Inc.

Junior eventually makes it to earth, where Superman threatens, but thankfully does not deliver, a "super-spanking" (how many times have we heard those words before?). Eventually, Junior turns into a regular Bizarro much to the relief of his parents.

This is the first of two super-tot scenes we discovered while searching for Supergirl spankings. As far as we know, this is its first appearance on the web. Supergirl was in this issue, and even Bizarro-Supergirl made her first appearance, but alas! Neither of them got spanked.