Chicago Spanking Review

Will Bragg Will Spank

Time for a series of four spankings from Candy, one of those teen humor books in the Archie mold. We'll have more to say about the strip itself next time, but for now let's take a look at this example from Candy #45 (December, 1953). Will Bragg was an extremely weak filler strip that appeared in the book, and this is an extremely weak spanking, but we can't just ignore it because the other three are better. The set-up is that Will has been chosen to devise the hazing techniques to be used on the initiates at a fraternal organization, "The Royal Order of the Tired Turks". Below, we see him setting up some hazing devices when suddenly "that over-aged man-trap" Effie Gissel calls to him:

setting paddle trap

Published by Quality. Posted by the Web-Ed on 11/05/2010.

There's so much wrong here it's hard to know where to begin, but we'll try:

  1. Why is Will setting up at his rooming house instead of at the hall where the initiation will be held?
  2. He sets a heavy bucket of water on top of the door, where it's sure to fall on someone's head and cause serious injury. My, isn't that funny? The sad thing is that the humor doesn't improve throughout the rest of the story.
  3. He rigs the paddle to come up cross-ways when the initiate steps on a board. Did he never hear of the traditional paddle-line, where the members each wield a paddle? (See, e.g., the paddling scenes in The Flintstones and The Simpsons).
  4. He puts a sharp pin in the end of the paddle - does he think a wooden paddle doesn't hurt enough on its own? Actually, as strange as it seems, we've seen this same motif used before, even in one of Harry Peter's weird Wonder Woman paddles.

Sure enough, Effie enters the room, gets hit with the bucket and the bag of flour, then steps back on the paddle-board. WHACK! The paddle lands on target, sort of, and she rather illogically concludes, "Ooo, Will, now I know you really care!"

No, Effie, if Will really cared he would have carefully and repeatedly applied that paddle (minus the pin) to your behind the old-fashioned way, by hand.

effie gets paddled

This is probably one of the lamest strips that Quality, which ordinarily lived up to its name, ever published.

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