Chicago Spanking Review

The Paddler #2

---> Comics Gallery 2

The Paddler #2 (June 1992), cover art by Setante. His chest emblem consists of a pair of buttocks in place of The Punisher's somewhat more dramatic skull. © Friendly Comics. From the collection of and posted by the Web-Ed on 05/25/2012.

The Punisher #3 (March 1986). Note skull-shaped chest emblem. © Marvel Comics.

When we posted The Paddler #1 in 2004, we knew of the existence of an issue #2 but it was only recently that we were able to obtain a copy. We have to regard the mere existence of a comic book with this title as a remarkable thing, even one which is a pitiful pornographic parody of Marvel's Punisher; alas, as you already know if you've seen our post on the first issue, The Paddler was something of a disappointment since neither story nor art were very good. In that respect, this second issue probably represents something of a decline, if that's possible. However, there are three separate swats which we'll see below, plus a flashback sequence F/M paddling of The Paddler by his stepmother when he was a boy, which we will certainly not see here, nor anywhere else if we're lucky.

Because the plot is so loose, we're not going to waste time trying to explain what's going on. Instead, we present the following excerpts with minimal editorial comment. A couple of the panels are presented out of order to help us fit them on the page better. Believe us, even if you had the whole thing in front of you in order as we do, it still wouldn't make any sense! The script is uncredited; the art is credited to "Sticky Fingers", "Gary Spotz", and "Art Hacker", three obvious pseudonyms. We don't know who they really are, and we won't be investigating that question any time soon.

Sister Sappho, an extraterrestrial female, is all upset by The Paddler.

Our hero and his beloved paddle (click to double-size). © Friendly Comics.

Swat #1 is applied to the "lady of the evening" we saw above right.

Attempting to distract The Paddler.

Swat #2 is applied to Sister Sappho, rather improbably sending her airborn! (click to double-size)

A fourth swat appears imminent, but it never occurs. We'd like to show why that is, but we were forced to exercise some editorial discretion and truncate this panel since it contains a sexual act.

Swat #3 is applied to someone - we're never told who. It's not Sister Sappho since she doesn't have any clothes on. This may have been intended as a sort of generic narrative sequence since the caption is a diary entry intended to parody the Punisher's War Journal.

The women are all too dehumanized here to make for truly good spanking scenes, even if they had been better executed technically. Still, the fact that a published comic book was actually entitled The Paddler is a remarkable thing, as we noted above. We also have proof now that a third issue was produced, but we believe it to be scarce. (We couldn't locate The Paddler at any comics shop when it was first published even though we knew about it at the time, in case anyone was wondering). We'll keep looking for it, though.

07/22/2016 Update: Well, it took four long years, but we finally did track down a copy of The Paddler #3. Incredibly, it was even more poorly done than the first two issues, and worst of all, did not contain a single paddling! Therefore, of course, we won't be posting any scenes from it in this gallery. No wonder it was the last issue.