Chicago Spanking Review

Weird Spankings #8 - Batman and Robin Spank Alien Brats

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students play pranks on batman, robin, and alien teacher

© DC Comics Inc. Posted by the Web-Ed on 01/22/2010

We conclude our series "The Weirdest Comic-Book Spankings of All Time" with this very weird example taken from Batman #137 (Feb. 1961) in a story called "Teacher From the Stars". Written by Bill Finger with art by Sheldon Moldoff and Charles Paris, this one's going to take some explaining. We mentioned earlier that Science Fiction really took off in the 1950's, becoming highly visible in comics, movies, and TV, and we have also discussed the decline of the superhero genre in postwar comics. Many previously popular super-heroes like Captain America and the Human Torch vanished completely from the scene (although some, including these two, were of course later revived in the 1960's), leaving Marvel without a single superhero title. DC's most popular heroes, Superman and Batman, continued publication throughout the decade, but the Sci-Fi influence on comics was pronounced and had a decidedly strange effect on Batman. The essential gritty darkness of the character, scarred for life by the murder of his parents and seeking to avenge them by waging war against despicable criminals, did not readily mesh with the robots, ray guns, and aliens of popular Science Fiction.

Here we see three alien brats have used some kind of ray gun to distort the appearances of Batman, Robin, and their teacher, Blish. What a crazy class field trip this turned out to be!

Some further discussion can be found at Comic Treadmill and Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin.

students get spanked by batman, robin, and alien teacher

A triple spanking(!) administered by Batman, Robin, and Blish follows, and it appears to be pretty effective judging by the now-contrite brats' cries of "We'll be good!" and "We promise!" Apparently spanking is universal, for the caption refers to it as "primitive but effective interplanetary discipline". This leaves us asking: Why didn't Captain Kirk spank some of those alien babes he was always running into on Star Trek? Or at least any of those unruly female officers under his command?

With his strict no-nonsense demeanor, Batman certainly seems a natural disciplinarian, and as we have remarked, he and Wonder Woman are generally DC's only effective spankers. Speaking of WW, we can't help wishing that instead of this Sci-Fi spanking, the issue had featured WW holding her ankles while Batman firmly applied his Bat-Paddle right where it would do the most good! Less weird, but more satisfying. Alas, DC never produced such a scene, but maybe someday we'll get to see it ...

Because it's hard to go very far into the subject of Science Fiction spankings that should have taken place without Star Trek coming to mind, as it did above, and because we're under a strain from having gone so long in this series without being able to post a spanking that featured a female recipient, we can't resist solving both problems at once with this extra bonus attraction. We're sure that many words have already been written about Star Trek spanking, but we'll add our two cents' worth anyway (honestly, there's never been a time we wouldn't!) and suggest that the first candidate for Captain's discipline should be Dr. Helen Noel (Marianna Hill). Here's some dialogue that was unaccountably left out of the episode Dagger of the Mind, from which the accompanying still was taken:
Marianna Hill as Dr. Helen Noel

© Paramount Pictures, Inc.

KIRK (in a stern, official tone):

Dr. Helen Noel - For using Dr. Adams' neural neutralizer, along with your feminine wiles, to implant improper suggestions in your Commanding Officer's mind, you are hereby ordered to report to my quarters at 21:00 hours, where you will be soundly spanked until I am satisfied that your lesson has been well and truly learned. Said spanking to be administered, in accordance with regulations, and at my option, with your skirt up - and panties down!

HELEN (very meekly):

Ohh...did you say - panties down? I mean - yes, sir.

William Theiss and the wardrobe department at Paramount really cut this skirt as high as they possibly could, don't you think? Bless 'em! And it does make it so easy to flip that skirt right up out of the way...

For an actual spanking delivered by Capt. Kirk, see this Paula Meadows/Dr. Cylon collaboration here.

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