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We remarked before on the unlikely existence of The Paddler in his own short-lived
X-rated comic book (see The Paddler #1). Well, some years earlier,
there was actually a character called The Spanker who, although definitely mainstream, was even
shorter-lived: he appeared once and once only, and in the Howard The Duck Treasury Edition of all places!
Some people may remember the Howard The Duck movie (1986), widely derided by critics at the time
(somewhat obviously) as a "turkey". Fewer will recall the extremely odd but generally very good comic book
from the mid-70's, written by Steve Gerber and
drawn by a variety of artists. The HTD series is hard to categorize, but it was generally a kind
of farce-satire, ridiculing society generally and comic book heroes in particular. We mention
this in an attempt to make the accompanying panels less baffling: The Spanker is shown roasting
marshmallows in Central Park (!) along with several other unlikely super-villians. Note the paddle in a
holster on his left.
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Later, The Defenders (don't worry about it if you have no idea who they are) battle The Spanker and his cohorts
at Shea Stadium. The bad guys are eventually defeated, but not before The Spanker draws his paddle from its holster and
gives several good whacks to Howard's girlfriend Beverly. There's a lot of confusion in this panel; probably the most
recognizable character who appears in it is The Hulk (center). The spanking, like The Spanker himself,
is intended to be ludicrous rather than sexy.
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Closeup of the spanking. From the Howard The Duck Treasury Edition (author's collection, 1976), drawn by Sal Buscema
and Klaus Janson and written by Steve Gerber. © Marvel Comics Group Inc. Good luck finding this one!
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