Chicago Spanking Review

Megaton Man Spanks Megaton Girl!

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megaton man 103

Twice in comics we have seen a superhero spank a superheroine - Thing Spanks Sue Storm and Thing Spanks Moondragon. (The Comics Code did its best to obscure the Sue Storm one, but we're counting it anyway, and we're not counting the Black Widow Butt Slap since Daredevil didn't actually take her over his knee. That is, we count it as a spanking in the Data Base, but don't think of it as an honest-to-goodness hero/heroine OTK session. Confused? Don't worry - we're just getting started!) We know of only one more such scene, and we'll examine it now.

At left we see our spanker, Megaton Man, in one of his four-color adventures, done somewhat in the style of the Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four.

megaton man #1 cover

Megaton Man #1 (November 1984). © Don Simpson. Published by Kitchen Sink Press Inc.

Megaton Man first appeared, logically enough, in Megaton Man #1 (December, 1984). Created by Don Simpson, the feature was intended as a superhero send-up, with preposterous origin stories (supposedly, MM obtained his powers when he was bitten by a radioactive frog!) and parodies of popular comics such as X-Men and Teen Titans. The series lasted ten issues, after which MM moved to Don Simpson's Bizarre Heroes, but when we heard rumors of a MM spanking, we couldn't find it anywhere you'd reasonably expect MM to be. Then we realized some of our information had been wrong, and searched somewhere you'd never expect to find Megaton Man - Pteranoman #1 - and there it was! So let's take a look at it.

pteranoman #1 cover

Pteranoman #1 (August 1990). © Don Simpson. Published by Kitchen Sink Press Inc.

You can see why this story was hard to find - Megaton Man doesn't even appear on the cover, and as Pteranoman's first issue was also his last, few people remembered him. Why didn't Pteranoman survive? Probably because it combined heavy-handed progressive politics with a hero wearing a pteranodon costume who was only in his element when society was menaced by marauding dinosaurs which, let's face it, doesn't happen very often.

The lead story did provide a moment of interest, however. In an incident that reminds us of the origin of Spider-Man's enemy The Lizard, a professor inadvertently transforms himself into a dinosaur. His pretty assistant, not knowing what's happened, starts looking for him in his lab (see below). Much as we might expect if this were a scene from the days of burlesque, she bends over, offering the transformed professor an irresistable target, and he responds by biting the back of her skirt off! Not a spanking (which it would have been if we were in the prof's shoes), but we're heading in the right direction.

pteranoman #1 assistant bends over

The professor's assistant, not realizing he's been transformed into a monster, unwisely bends over in front of him (click to double-size). © Don Simpson.

Now let's see what we came to see. Megaton Girl, our spankee (who calls herself "Ms. Megaton Man" for some reason), arrives at MM's new headquarters, the "Dork Cave" (now you know what we meant by "heavy-handed"). She's thrilled at being able to team up with MM, whom she obviously has a crush on, but she can't resist bratting him a bit. She even indicates her willingness to accept a spanking by declaring that if she made any mischief, she'd "expect a stern punishment!" Now, Megaton Man may not be the brainiest guy in the world, but at least he knows how to handle a brat in a situation like this, and turns her over his knee the way any red-blooded American male would do!

megaton girl brats megaton man

Megaton Girl acts like a spoiled brat, and we all know the proper remedy for that kind of behavior (click to double-size). © Don Simpson.

megaton man spanks megaton girl

At last - Megaton Man spanks Megaton Girl! (click to double-size). © Don Simpson.

Megaton Man spanks Megaton Girl, and he does it the right way, over the knee (no mere one-shot butt-slap for him). MG, who was really asking for it, doesn't complain, and in fact pleads with him not to stop! All in all, a pretty good scene. Also, in addition to being only the third superhero/superheroine spanking, this is the first time a superhero spanked his female counterpart, since we never got a Superman/Supergirl scene (or Spider-Man/Spider-Woman, or Hulk/She-Hulk, or Bulletman/Bulletgirl...) and the first time the spankee was absolutely o.k. with receiving the OTK treatment!

We might also mention that in addition to the three bending-over positions we've already seen in this issue (if we include the OTK shot), there was a fourth such presentation of the female posterior when See-Thru Girl comes down into the cave with a laundry basket and bends over the washing machine! It's enough to make us wish there had been a Pteranoman #2.

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