Chicago Spanking Review

Supergirl Spanks Super-Brats

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supergirl spanks alien brat Here we have yet another Supergirl spanking - this time in an actual comic book, Action Comics #363 (May 1968, from our personal collection). Too bad she isn't on the receiving end. This scene occurs when two aliens start stealing buildings from several cities, and Supergirl flies up to investigate their UFO orbiting the earth. Upon entering the spacecraft, she realizes the thieving aliens are no more than bad boys, and declares, "I'm going to teach you a lesson in a good, old-fashioned way!" You won't find that kind of dialogue in examples of today's popular culture - more's the pity. Note the expression on the second brat's face - he looks like he can't wait until it's his turn to go over Supergirl's knee (which, as we'll see, never happens).

Our friend Leilani remembers seeing this scene back when this comic was published, and as it happens she's spanked a lot of guys since then. We're not the only ones who were affected by seeing these kinds of comics growing up.

The pencilling here is obviously by Kurt Schaffenberger, who drew many Supergirl stories and whose work we have featured elsewhere in the gallery. Most of the time, he did his own inking, but another hand is plainly at work here - we'd guess it was Win Mortimer's. (Note: the writing and artwork were often uncredited in DC's books during the 60's, which is why we sometimes have to guess whose they were).

Alas, Supergirl's attempt at giving a super-spanking doesn't work! We'll come back to that point in a moment, but first we want to take time out to mention that everything was "super" in the Superman family of comic books, to the point of ridiculousness - super-breath, super-ventriloquism, super-pets (Krypto, Streaky, Comet, etc. - give yourself 2 extra points if you can remember Beppo the super-monkey), super-spanking(!) (evidently a spanking given at super-speed). This is what led to the scene in that Seinfeld episode where Jerry argues with George that Superman should have super-humor to go along with everything else.

supergirl's super-spanking doesn't work

Now back to the "super-spanking" that wasn't. We learn that the alien brat is invulnerable and can't feel it, which seems both improbable and gratuitous. We're not big fans of F/M spanking, but why not let justice be done here? Many of DC's other spanking scenes end up this like as well, with the spanking unconsummated. Time and again, there's a nice build-up followed by a big letdown! Think about these examples from our gallery:

- Pa Kent, Lana Lang, and Lois Lane all stupidly try to spank Superboy, breaking their hairbrushes, tennis racquets, and hands!

- Clark Kent breaks another hairbrush trying to spank his super-brat of a boy! The local Fuller brush salesman must have sold so many replacement hairbrushes to these people that he probably couldn't believe his luck when he stumbled onto them.

- A Superman robot spanks Lois Lane! This one's a little better than the others in that at least Lois really did wind up with sore bottom, but it lacked the emotional resonance it would have had if Superman himself had given the spanking.

- Lois Lane spanks a Supergirl robot! More robot-spanking, this time in reverse - arghh!

- Professor Lang puts Lana over his knee, hairbrush raised, and then wimps out at the last minute!

And here, Supergirl can't even manage to spank one long-nosed, green-skinned alien brat! At DC, the only sucessful spankings are given by Batman, who's made of sterner stuff, and Wonder Woman, who's obviously into it. If it occasionally seems like we enjoy a good laugh at DC's expense, now you know one of the reasons why: when we were young, they tantalized us with apparent spanking scenes, then left us feeling frustrated and unsatisfied when they wouldn't follow through (in more ways than one) and let the guilty culprit feel the sting of retribution! And then there was Mort Weisinger's refusal to let Superman really spank Lois Lane, despite numerous reader requests that she get the OTK treatment ...

Supergirl © DC Comics Inc.

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